Needs
by shedoc
Summary: Everyone has them
1. Needs

Singing I don't own them Pet Fly does do dah do dah, I don't own them no money

made oh the do dah day

My first slash attempt - please be patient. Some of this may be anatomically

incorrect (but in a good way)!

Um, lets see - bottom Jim, Simon squicks, alternate thesis, no plot, bad guys

with bombs. Supposed to be a replacement for TSbyBS, set at about that time.

Chapter One - In which a need is identified.

Upon serious reflection, the whole damn year had pretty much sucked. First the

man had actually drowned, as near as anyone could figure he'd been dead at least

twenty minutes - maybe longer. Then he'd dragged himself out of hospital to New

Mexico, following his stubborn and ungrateful son-of-a-bitch partner who'd

pretty much betrayed him by trying to suck out his killer's tonsils - and not in

a cannibalistic kind of way.

For a bit of variety they'd spent the year arguing on and off - about anything

and everything. He'd pretty much acted as the convenient target for every hissy

fit, wild hair and bad mood that had loomed each day. Their friends were

starting to wonder why they still worked together at all when all they seemed to

do was fight. Despite all the pushing away and emotional pain being dished out

he just hung in there - maybe in silence, maybe yelling at the top of his lungs,

sometimes from a distance. He just hung on.

Jim Ellison wondered to himself why the hell Blair Sandburg bothered. What in

the name of God's green apples kept Blair Sandburg, doctoral candidate, police

observer, Shaman to the Great City and Guide extraordinaire hanging on to Jim

Ellison - his particular cross to bear?

Take today for example. They were nearing the completion date of the thesis.

Blair wouldn't let him anywhere near it - all notes were encrypted - even the

handwritten stuff. The files were password protected on his computer and he

locked away any audio or visual records he made in an old lock box. Blair was in

the final revisions and therefore stressed to the max. In addition to this he

was also pulling shifts at the station with Jim, working at the Uni and Guiding

at the drop of a hat.

Time was a precious commodity for the young man right now, and any delay in his

schedule came out of his sleep allotment - a tiny four hours a night, plus

whatever nap time he could grab during the day. Blair had timed his schedule to

the last possible minute, even allowing for the flexible nature of police work

and Jim's needs as a Sentinel.

So the young man got up earlier than usual in order to start his day - quick ten

minutes in the bathroom, then prepare breakfast (leaving things ready for Jim)

and then out the door to the Uni. He worked there for a few hours, around his

class schedule and campus responsibilities, then came in to the station to work

with Jim, then home to chores - usually laundry or cooking lately, anything else

was too time consuming - followed by more Uni work and bed at two am. Then he'd

be up by six to start all over again. And despite the time spent at the station

together or the time at home in the evening, Jim was beginning to feel

invisible.

Today, however, Jim had gotten up first - and was in the bathroom when Blair

should have been, having already finished the last of their food; it was Jim's

turn to do the shopping and he hadn't. A part of Jim wanted to start a fight -

to get Blair good and mad at him, to get Blair to just see him; and childish as

it seemed this was the only way Jim knew how.

Blair had merely brushed past him into the bathroom and then hurried out the

door to Uni without a word, breaking Jim's heart. Because Blair hadn't seen

anything - hadn't seen that Jim needed him, but didn't know how or why.

A need that was slowly tearing Jim apart - because one of the things Jim hated

most was to be needy or dependent on another person - for anything.

0o0o0o0

Blair ignored his stomach as it growled at him and concentrated on parking the

Volvo carefully along the curb. Construction around the precinct - and some

much-needed refurbishment for the PD as well - had made parking a premium at the

moment. He carefully displayed the parking permit that Simon had issued him -

growling something about not wanting to have to fix any tickets, and pulled his

bag off the passenger seat before getting out and locking the car.

Jim's little stunt this morning had meant Blair had to skip a decent meal. He

couldn't figure out what was going on at home. In the field, as a unit they were

pretty solid. Jim just didn't seem to want him around at any other time. True,

Blair wasn't around much at any other time. The thesis was heating up - in fact

he'd defend it in two weeks time.

Wondering if things would be better once the thesis was gone and Blair could

apply for his dream job - full time consultant to the PD, assigned to Major

Crimes; the overworked man paid for a hotdog from a street vendor and inhaled it

on the lift up to the bull pen.

As he chewed and swallowed, Blair wondered if he'd ever have he courage to tell

Jim the topic of the thesis he'd be defending. Jim had been oddly demanding of

late - wanting attention, but not his presence. If the detective found out that

Blair had scrapped the Sentinel thesis after Jim had blown up over the

introductory chapter...

Deciding that Jim would probably react badly to the change in thesis, Blair

sighed and squared his shoulders. He scrubbed a hand over his face to make sure

there was no food lingering and decided to just tough it out. Three weeks from

now he'd either be a doctor or a failure. Time enough then for Jim to discover

what he'd done.

Dropping his rubbish in the trash, Blair pushed the doors to Major Crimes open

and slid into place next to Jim, tucking his bag out of the way and smiling at

his Sentinel.

"Hey Jim," Blair looked over at the file open on the desk, "That the Pendergast

file?"

The Guide missed the cataloging sweep of his Sentinel and the wince that

announced his recent meal had been detected. Making a decision - namely 'feed

the Guide' - Jim snapped the file shut and got up, pulling his friend with him.

Hell, he'd even pay - a sort of apology for this morning.

"Yeah it is, but we need to eat first. C'mon Chief, let's go," he urged the

other man up from his chair.

"Sandburg! My office!" Simon's voice cut through the usual dull roar that was

Major Crimes in full flight and Blair turned towards the door automatically,

with Jim a step behind. Simon was still in the doorway and he glared at his

detective with impunity.

"How many Sandburg's are there in this office?" Simon growled, "Unless you've

changed your name Ellison, you can stay out here. And no listening either!"

Ignoring Jim's shocked look; Simon ushered his department observer inside and

shut the door firmly. Blair had backed Simon up with a nod, so Jim was forced to

return to his desk and shuffle files uneasily until Blair came out. Normally one

or more of his colleagues would have made some joke about 'Sandburg the trouble

magnet', but the look on the former Ranger's face was more than enough to

discourage his fellow detectives.

"What was that about?" Jim asked when Blair emerged ten minutes later. He looked

ok, and his vitals...hell they were as messed up as they had been consistently

for the last few weeks - exhaustion, malnourishment and stress taking their toll

on his Guide. Remembering that the original plan had been to get some food into

both of them Jim got up and led the way to the break room, pulling out change

for sandwiches and soda's for them both.

"Nothing, really," Blair's voice was tired, "Simon had some questions about my

observer status. It's coming up for review."

He accepted the egg and mayonnaise roll Jim handed him and sat down. Jim bit

back on his desire to swear. The last thing Blair needed right now was to fight

for his right to be with Jim at work. However, his friends had plainly decided

to exclude him from their discussion. He wasn't needed there either. Jim sighed

and sat down opposite his friend, his shoulders slumped in defeat.

Maybe he could find a penguin colony to protect from poachers or something. Surely someone must need a balding Sentinel somewhere. Perhaps he should place

an ad.

0o0o0o0

After a week of strained silences, sudden blow-ups and occasional harmony Jim

had had enough. He wanted to resolve the whole mess - to finally sit his partner

down and just tell him that Jim needed him. Maybe the Shaman would know what it

was Jim needed and the empty feeling that was consuming the Sentinel would go

away.

Jim had been rostered off for the weekend, Blair apparently hadn't. He continued

to get up early and disappear off to Uni - even though there were no classes on

the weekend. Jim was left to clean the loft mercilessly, shop until the

cupboards bulged with food and wrestle with the hollow space where his Guide,

Shaman and best friend in the whole damn world should be.

He knew that he loved his friend - that he was closer to Blair than he'd ever

been to his wife or any of his lovers. He knew that Blair was close to him -

they confided in each other, told stories about wild teenage years and shared

hopes and dreams. Blair knew Jim better than anyone, and Jim liked to think it

went both ways. They were both deeply private men - for all his talking, Blair

rarely told you much about himself that was personal. He had a way of focusing

on you and the moment; something that normally filled Jim's wants and needs.

Jim knew that Blair was beautiful - even sexy. He'd smelt his Guide after sex -

usually when the man had come home from a date and was on his way to shower and

dispose of his clothes - and found the smell agreeable. It had given the

Sentinel a warm ache of arousal - nothing urgent, just a pleasant burn that let

him know he was alive. Blair was a sexually active man, who didn't seem to

discriminate between men and women. Jim had been able to identify one or two

scents that frequently accompanied his Guide's scent after sex and realized that

Blair had several - for lack of a better term - fuck buddies of both sex that he

spent time with regularly. Jim knew that if he showed an interest, Blair would

probably accommodate him in bed, but Jim didn't want that. He couldn't be casual

about sex with his roommate - any step they took in that direction would change

things forever.

Waking as Blair left the loft quietly the next morning, Jim pondered that

thought again. Was that what he wanted from Blair? Did he need the physical

intimacy that love and sex combined would give them?

They already lived together. When things were going well the two men touched

each other often. Even at night when they were both off duty they shared a

common space together - Blair reading or working on the couch with Jim nearby,

also reading or watching TV. With a start, Jim realized the touches were also

fairly intimate - like lovers they touched hands, cheeks, necks. Jim thought

nothing of dropping an arm around Blair's shoulder in public, and would often

find one winding around his waist in reply. At a crime scene, Blair stroked or

rubbed Jim on the back, the arm or the shoulder. They sat very close at the

station, thighs brushing every now and then, hands touching. Jim even hugged

Blair from time to time - in front of colleagues too on occasion.

Warmth pooled in Jim's groin as he catalogued all the touches he shared with his

Guide. Absently, he reached down to his boxers and rubbed the heel of his palm

into his groin, massaging the muscles lazily, feeling his cock stir in reaction.

Using his senses he called up his memories of Blair's scent after sex and images

of his friend's face and body. Dialing up touch he recalled all the hugs, the

brushes of thigh and hands they'd shared as he rubbed the material of his boxers

over his hard on. His free hand stroked and pinched at his nipples, sending

little spurts of sensation straight to his groin. Jim added taste - all the

shared beers and coffee cups combined with the brushes of his lips over a

fevered brow or cool hand. Slipping a hand into his boxers Jim gripped his

swollen cock and squeezed. His skin was buzzing in arousal, and he groaned

softly as waves of pleasure roiled through his gut. Letting go long enough to

lick his palm, Jim began to pump and squeeze his cock, feeling his balls tighten

as Blair's scent, taste and touch surrounded him. His face danced behind Jim's

eyes, the remembered soft croon of his voice teased Jim's ears, and his name was

on Jim's lips as he came.

0o0o0o0

Chapter Two - In which Jim buys a clue.

"We need to talk," Jim's words greeted Blair as the young man dropped his keys

in the basket. Worry clenched Blair's gut for a moment and his heart tripped

over its rhythm before Blair took a deep breath and nodded.

"Sure, let me put this away," his voice was steady and he headed into his room.

He took a few minutes to take off his shoes and jacket, pull his hair back and

generally calm his body. He'd meant to tell Jim that this was the big week - he

would start defending the thesis to his committee this week. Blair bit his lip

for a moment - praying that Jim wasn't about to kick him out or anything. He

couldn't take the stress at the moment and emotionally it would kill him.

There was a beer waiting on the table and his usual corner of the couch had a

cushion propped invitingly. Jim was sitting squarely, rolling his own bottle of

beer in his palms nervously. Blair dropped a hand on his friend's shoulder on

the way past and felt some of the tension drain away. Sitting down and

retrieving his own bottle Blair twisted to face his friend.

"I'm sorry about this week," Jim decided to get it out of the way, "I've been

pretty unbearable."

"Not really," the demur was quiet; "I'm not Joe Cool at the moment either."

"Why not?" Jim surprised himself, "Is something wrong? Can I help?"

As the words left his mouth Jim cursed himself for a fool and coward - avoiding

the issue and the apology was no way to tell Blair about his needs. Blair

grinned at him - sometimes it was like he read Jim's mind - and took a sip of

the beer.

"I defend the thesis this week," Blair said it simply, "On Friday I'll either be

a doctor and consultant to the PD based in Major Crimes or a bum looking for

work."

Jim's stomach twisted and cramped, his hands shook and adrenaline roared through

his system. It took all of a second for him to blow his cool.

"What?" he yelled, jumping up, "You can't! I haven't read it yet! Dammit,

Sandburg that was the deal!"

"Jim! Jim!" Blair jumped up too, yelling just as loudly, "It's not the original

thesis!"

That stunned the enraged man into silence. In the beginning the agreement had

been that Jim would have final approval on the thesis before Blair submitted it

to the University. It was a way to fulfill Jim's need to stay in control of what

was said about him and to protect his own identity. Blair had never tried to

change that aspect of their deal, though he pushed the envelope on just about

everything else. The Guide pushed his Sentinel back on the couch and sat on the

coffee table opposite him.

"After you read the first chapter of the Sentinel thesis..." Blair trailed off

and looked to the side, organizing his thoughts, "You told me to destroy it,

remember? That you'd never let me publish it. So when I got home I read it

through again...you were right, Jim. It was personal stuff, and the later data

would be almost impossible to disguise. I couldn't see any way to publish it

without risking exposing you. So I went to the committee and told them that my

subject had withdrawn his waiver. I sold them on the idea of the backup thesis

we invented for Simon and that I later researched to maintain our cover."

"And all the tests?" Jim couldn't quite absorb what Blair was telling him. Had

Blair stopped seeing Jim a long time ago and Jim hadn't realized?

"I'll never finish the Sentinel thesis, Jim. It will truly take me a lifetime to

help you discover all you can do. The tests give me enough data to suggest

training directions and head off possible problems. It's probably something I'll

never get to publish," there was no sadness or disappointment in Blair's voice.

Jim's senses only found sincerity in his Guide's body, overlaid with exhaustion.

"But you said it was your brass ring," the comment slipped out without Jim's

conscious thought. Blair's lips twisted into a smile and he shrugged.

"I've given it up," he replied softly, "There are more important things now."

Jim sat still as his Guide abandoned his beer and went to bed. He sat for a long

time, pondering what could be so important that Blair would give up his life's

dream and settle for what had to be second prize: a doctorate unconnected to a

Sentinel.

0o0o0o0

With Blair on what Jim privately called thesis time, the morning routine

changed. Jim was the early riser now, showering and preparing breakfast for them

both. They'd eat together and then Jim would make lunch while Blair went through

his daily ablutions. The young man had bought a decent suit, and the dark cloth

only made him more beautiful to Jim.

Blair would take the bag Jim prepared and head off to Uni, leaving Jim to read

the paper before heading to the station. Simon checked in with Jim daily about

the observer's progress, but Jim never had anything to report. Blair came home

dead on his feet and Jim usually fed him and put him straight to bed.

He had not forgotten that Blair had stated that with his doctorate came a job

opportunity at the PD - a paid full time assignment to Major Crimes. For Jim it

was a dream come true - Blair focussed totally on their work, no other

distractions pulling him away or sapping his energy.

Yet Jim wondered if that was what Blair wanted. He loved to learn and he was a

brilliant teacher. At the PD he was often frustrated in his desire to share what

he'd learned with the people around him. At best they put up with his mini

lectures, at worst he was brushed off or ridiculed. As a Ph.D., Blair could gain

full time tenure at the University and access to funds that would allow him to

travel to make further discoveries.

Which brought Jim to the million-dollar question. Why was Blair doing this? Why

was he settling for what seemed to be second place?

As Jim continued to worry at the bone of contention his colleagues noticed his

lapse in concentration. He was absent-minded and frequently deaf to their

questions. Once, even Simon's roar went unanswered - until Rafe balled up a

piece of paper and bounced it off Jim's ear. None of which endeared him to his

boss.

Jim was only completely focussed in the field and at home. Fieldwork demanded

his complete attention - to give less was to get shot - and Blair was at home.

His best friend would stagger in from the committee, absolutely shattered by the

demands of the day to a hot meal that Jim had hurried home to prepare. The suit

would be hung out for airing while Blair washed the day away in the shower, and

then after dinner Jim would pamper Blair with a full body massage that always

put the young man to sleep, and left Jim with an erection to rival the Eiffel

Tower.

Jim would barely make it to the bathroom before he came. Thankfully the younger

man was too exhausted to realize that the massage that soothed him, aroused Jim. The intimate contact with Blair's flesh and scent, not to mention the

appreciative noises Blair made as his muscles relaxed, had an electrifying

affect on Jim's libido. In order to preserve some dignity, Jim always started on

Blair's front, massaging the upper body first, knowing that his Guide's eyes

would be closed by the time Jim made it to his feet. Touches there always

elicited heartfelt moans of approval, which had the Sentinel half hard by the

time his friend rolled onto his stomach. The small room would become heavy with

pheromones as Blair reacted to the sense of peace the massage gave him.

Strong touches to his back, buttocks and thighs made Blair a puddle of jelly,

sighing in pleasure and drifting away to sleep - often mumbling Jim's name once

or twice in gratitude. By then the Sentinel's slacks were tight and rubbing hard

against his weeping erection. Jim would rub himself through the material as he

half staggered to the bathroom, panting hard and trying to stave off the

inevitable orgasm. He would grab Blair's towel and rub it wantonly against his

groin before burying his face in the damp cloth. The extra stimulation as Jim

roughly undid his fly and pulled his cock free was often enough to make him

come, shuddering and moaning in desire as Blair's fresh scent surrounded him.

All this did nothing to resolve his question. Why was Blair settling for what

appeared to be second prize?

0o0o0o0

Friday: D-day for Sentinel and Guide. Today Blair had his final meeting with the

committee and received his results. Jim had privately decided that if Blair was

unsuccessful in achieving his doctorate that the two men would leave for another

city - one with a University where Blair could try again. Still undecided on why

his best friend would settle for less than first, Jim had no qualms about giving

up his job and moving. The simple fact was that the Guide was important and

should be cherished and loved.

Simon was stomping around Major Crimes when Jim arrived, checking with his

people and assigning additional tasks.

"What's going on?" Jim asked Rafe. The junior detective grinned up at his

colleague and rolled his eyes. Hopefully Jim would be able to focus today

despite his partner's deadline - Rafe didn't want anyone to get hurt in the

upcoming task.

"Major bust coming up from Bunko and the Chief has decreed that they can draw

extra men from us," he replied laconically and then shrugged, "Means we get all

the crap duties and they get the high flying stuff."

"Yeah," Jim grumbled and made himself visible to Simon. Sure enough his boss

waved him into the office and closed the door.

"Kid get to Uni ok, Jim?" Simon asked as he poured them both a coffee. In his

own way Simon cared as much about Jim's Guide as Jim did. Their Captain just

didn't advertise it - especially to Sandburg.

"Yeah," Jim nodded, "It's hard to say who's more nervous - him or me."

Simon snorted, handed over Jim's mug and sat down.

"What are you nervous for? It's the kid's future," Simon retorted and Jim

sighed. He put the coffee on Simon's desk and leaned forward to make his point.

"It's our future, Simon. If Blair fails this then we need to leave Cascade. Find

another University and start all over again. Maybe the next one will let him

publish the Sentinel thesis," Jim sat back and waited until Simon had taken in

what he was saying.

"You mean if he goes, you do too? Dammit, Jim, isn't that taking this

responsibility thing a little too far? I mean, I know you want to take care of

the kid, but..."

"Simon, after all this time you still don't understand," Jim sighed and got up

to pace - a habit he'd picked up from Blair.

"I am responsible for him. Just like he's responsible for me. You know how at

the start you and I were discussing this stuff like he could just teach me a few

skills and then walk away? We were wrong. I'll never have control over the

Sentinel - the more I use these senses the more I need to learn. It's a life

long partnership - until death we do part. Even if that weren't the case I'm

just not willing to be separated from him. We're together, Simon. End of story."

"Are you telling me that you and Sandburg..." Simon trailed off, unsure of how

to finish that question. Jim understood at once and looked his boss in the eye.

He knew what he wanted from Blair - it just didn't seem fair to discuss it this

week, and a part of him was still worrying over why Blair stayed. He didn't want

to push his best friend away by declaring his love, and he sure didn't want to

lose his Guide. Simon deserved the truth though - or as much of it as he could

stand. Their boss wasn't comfortable with the Sentinel stuff at the best of

times - this would only add to his burden.

"Not yet," he stressed significantly and Simon nodded, looking down at his

coffee; "Simon? Are we ok?"

"Personally - well I don't really care what you do in the privacy of your own

home, and I like Sandburg too much to be worried about you.

Professionally...I'll have to think it over Jim. I don't know if I can let you

ride along with your life long partner," Simon sighed, "Look, we've got this

raid to organize. I want to finish this discussion though - preferably when the

three of us are toasting my ninetieth birthday."

"You got it Simon," Jim sat back down, wondering why he could be so open with

his boss, but not the man he loved. If only he knew why Blair was staying.

0o0o0o0

Blair yanked at his tie - the one that Jim had given him this morning to wear to

the final meeting - yanking it loose from the perfect knot that he'd put on this

morning. Simon's call had come just at the end of the Chairwoman's speech and

she'd been most surprised when the secretary interrupted them - Blair of course

had switched his phone off.

Whatever had gone wrong with the bust had also affected his Sentinel - and the

Guide was highly agitated as a result. Guilt that he'd left Jim without backup

for a week tore at the young man, as did the knowledge that he'd been ignoring

the warning signals Jim had been flying for the past month.

The thesis had stood between the two men from the beginning - Jim had been

uncomfortable at being put under the microscope and Blair had needed to preserve

some distance between himself and his 'subject'. Any distance he'd achieved had

pretty much fallen by the wayside, as he first liked, then loved the other man. Blair had hoped that with the thesis out of the way, they could move their

relationship forward - if not as lovers at least as the kind of soul mate Blair

had spent his life wishing for.

He knew that Jim was aware of his sexual practices - hell, the Sentinel could

smell it on him whenever he came home. Yet Jim had neither shown approval or

disapproval at Blair's lifestyle - apart from the occasional table leg remark,

and the always to be remembered 'ongoing train wreck that is your love life'.

Swerving expertly through traffic, Blair fished in his inner pocket for the

police observers pass that he'd tucked in there out of habit this morning. Jim

always checked he had his badge, gun, and cuff's on the way out the door - Blair

checked for his pass, phone and bag. It was becoming second nature to him now -

he'd almost gone native.

Blair slowed to a respectable speed and pulled around the corner, slowing even

further as he approached the police line and holding his id out to be checked.

He parked where he was pointed to and then got out, hurrying along the route

Simon had described to him. A few of the cops waved to him as he jogged past,

and Blair returned their greetings briefly. Their colleagues knew that if Blair

were summoned late to a scene then he would not stop to chat, although the

reason why he didn't stop was often far from the truth. Jim's reputation for bad

temper had taken quite a beating since the Sentinel came on line.

"Jim?" Blair called when he spotted Simon. In some ways it was a relief the

other man knew what the detective was capable of - they didn't have to fudge

around him.

"He's right out of it," Simon scowled. Blair nodded and followed the other as he

led the way quickly down a twisted network of pipes to where Jim lay curled in a

tight ball.

"We all got a whiff of this smell - rotten vegetable matter that is starting to

ferment - and Jim went down like a ton of bricks," Simon recapped quietly, "So I

dragged him here and called you."

"Has he moved or said anything at all?" Blair asked quietly and Simon shook his

head. The Captain had tried while waiting for Blair to reach his detective -

every advance had been ignored. Wherever Jim was he was too deep for Simon's

skills to reach.

"Other than to curl up and say your name once he's been absolutely still," he

replied, "He's been pretty distracted this week - I'm sure you know why."

Blair grimaced in guilt and Simon made an embarrassed noise.

"I didn't mean it quite like that Sandburg," he apologized and Blair waved him

off to go and kneel next to Jim. With smell on overdrive, Jim would also taste

things more intensely. Ironically, smell was one of the Sentinel's weaker senses

so when it took over like this their usual coping strategies didn't work.

Blair lifted his friend off the cold floor a little and curled up around him,

circling his shoulders with his arms and resting the closely cropped head on his

stomach. He curved his legs so Jim's back was resting along his thighs and then

reached back to pull the hair tie out. His long curls fell forward like a

curtain, blocking them off from the outside world. He heard Simon leave quietly

and started the usual zone out procedure, combining Jim's sense of hearing and

touch to call his wayward Sentinel home.

As those two senses came on line they'd pull the others with them. This close

together, Blair's familiar scent would block out anything else in the

neighborhood and override the sense memory that was dragging Jim into the zone.

Blair's voice deepened to the loving croon that Jim responded best to and his

hands traced gentle paths over his friend's shoulders. He was rewarded as Jim's

muscles loosened gradually.

0o0o0o0

Jim surfaced slowly, obeying the loving voice's request that he return to the

outside world. Loving hands stroked the tension from his muscles and a

well-loved scent replaced the foul odor that had driven him away from the

outside world.

Jim remembered the question that had been plaguing him all week as he opened his

eyes and gazed up into Blair's face. His Guide was curled around him on the

floor, wearing the good suit that he'd bought for the defense of the thesis. And

the answer that Jim had been seeking all week leapt out at him in glaring

Technicolor, shocking him into blurting it out to his Guide.

"You love me!"

Blair's face glowed gently, and a hand stroked Jim's cheek in a warm caress. Jim

leaned into the touch eagerly, winning a tender smile.

"And you love me," he agreed in the croon that made the Sentinel quiver in

delight, "Jeez, Jim. Is this what's been bothering you all week?"

Jim shivered at the thought that he'd disappointed his Guide and struggled to

make himself clearer.

"Needed you so bad lately...scared to put demands on you...thought I'd drive you

away...didn't realize you were always telling me you loved me...every touch and

smile and action and word and thought and deed and..."

Blair put tender fingers over Jim's lips, stopping the flow of words. He waited

until he was sure that Jim wouldn't babble and then lifted the fingers away,

replacing them with his lips in a warm, chaste kiss. Jim smiled up at him when

the kiss broke, supremely content.

"It's ok, Jim," Blair stroked a finger over his Sentinel's cheek softly and

smiled when he again nuzzled into the touch. His eyes searched Blair's, wanting

to tell him...

"You can tell me," the croon was startling - when had Blair become a mind

reader?

"I want to marry you, I want to be your husband," Jim blurted, "I want to be

your spouse, your lover, your partner, your life mate, your sex toy, your..."

"Beloved," Blair interrupted and leaned down to kiss him again, his hair hiding

them from the rest of the world. Jim made a noise of protest when the kiss broke

and Blair sat up a little.

"Come on, let's get you home," he smiled, "We'll get comfortable and see what

happens."

"Ok," Jim started to move, then shivered and curled back around Blair. A moment

later Simon appeared at the end of the corridor and headed towards them. From

the captain's point of view things hadn't gotten any better.

"How is he, Sandburg?" Simon called quietly, knowing from painful experience not

to raise his voice around Jim during a bad reaction.

"He's just setting the dials," Blair told them both, "I'll have to take him home

to finish this."

"Jim? You in there?" Simon always felt stupid asking this question when the

detective was right in front of him, but a physical presence meant very little

when the man's senses were acting up.

"Answer Simon, Beloved," Blair crooned too low for the other man to hear, "Let's

go home."

"Yeah Simon," Jim straightened, turning to face his boss. Simon's face creased

in concern. Jim was bone white in reaction to the shock his senses had undergone

and fairly dirty from lying on the floor. Blair wasn't much better off in the

dirty clothing department.

"You look terrible," Simon sighed, "Go home. You can start your leave early.

I'll see you on Wednesday."

"Thanks Simon," Jim wobbled to his feet and steadied when Blair's hand lodged in

the small of his back.

"Sandburg? What did the committee say?" Simon's voice was solicitous as they all

walked towards the exit. Blair grinned back over his shoulder at their boss and

then smiled at Jim.

"You can call me Doctor Sandburg," his voice was pleased, "In fact you made them

cut themselves short. They had enough time to tell me I'd succeeded and then I

was out the door. They all hope you're ok, Jim."

"Congratulations!" Simon grinned too, "And I'll call you Doctor Sandburg when

you call me Captain Banks."

"Deal," Blair grinned, opened the door to the truck and watched Jim get in,

"Will the Volvo be ok here?"

"Give me the keys. I'll see it gets to the precinct garage," Simon held out a

hand and then clapped Blair on the shoulder, "Good work, kid. I knew you'd do

it."

Blair grinned and closed the truck door, hurrying around to the other side to

get in and drive them home.

0o0o0o0

Chapter Three - In which the boys fail to get out of bed.

They went straight upstairs. Blair sent Jim up first to change and get into bed,

then followed his partner up after collecting several items and beverages for

them both. Blair also took time to change, walking up with his tray in the nude.

Placing the tray on the bedside table and leaning over to kiss Jim lightly,

Blair picked up a few condoms and lube, stashed them under the pillows where

both men could get to them and then climbed in under the covers.

"Despite all this Jim, we don't have to have sex today. I really just want to

hold you and for you to recover from that zone out," Blair smiled, "Can we

cuddle for a while?"

Jim nodded, sliding over so Blair was on his back and Jim on his side. His head

rested on the other man's chest and he felt warm arms come up to cradle him

close. Blair tugged Jim carefully off balance, making the larger man sprawl

forward on top of him. He wrapped both legs around one of Jim's and sighed

happily.

"Comfortable?" Blair asked belatedly and Jim nodded, his body slowly going lax

in the close embrace. Being this close to Blair's naked body was filling Jim

with a pleasant ache as his cock slowly took an interest in proceedings. Jim

thought about sex with Blair and his cock deflated instantly when he realized

what that might actually entail.

"Blair," Jim sighed, "There's something I have to tell you...and I'm kind of

afraid."

"What are you afraid of?" his love's voice was curious, but overlaid with strong

tones of contentment. He sounded almost sleepy as their bodies warmed the bed

and each other.

"This...kind of cost me my marriage..." Jim confessed to a nipple, "I...can you

hear me out?"

"I can do better than that," Blair replied strongly, sounding much more alert,

"I can listen to you with an open mind and a loving heart."

Jim felt tears start in his eyes and pressed his face to the warm body that

cradled him. Blair's hands stroked his head, neck and shoulders in soothing

cadence and Jim breathed in the living scent of the other man's skin. They

stayed like that for long minutes and then Jim took a steadying breath.

"I don't come from penetration," he blurted, determined to get this said and

done, "I...I just go soft. It's stupid, I have no trouble with oral sex or

anything, but I can't...I tried to hide it from Caroline...it took so much work.

I'd arouse her with my hands and mouth. Get her so close that a touch would send

her over, then...I'd only be able to thrust a couple of times before I went

soft...I used to fake orgasms for her and then take the condom off before she

noticed it was empty."

Blair had tensed at the first words, then relaxed a little. His hands never

faltered in their loving caresses, and his heart rate had settled quickly.

Emboldened by the silence, Jim took a deep breath and finished what he had to

say.

"She made me go to a doctor...he asked how I felt about being penetrated and

I...hardened right there in front of him...he thought I should reconsider my

sexual orientation, or at the very least buy some toys we could play with

together. But she didn't want that - she wanted me to be a normal man. I

just...I don't want to lose you but I can't fake this for you...I love you so

much...I've never been with a man - you're my first. I kept trying with

women...wanted to be normal...But I want this with you - I want it so much..."

"Shh, Beloved," Blair kissed the top of his head, "I understand. You know, in

penetrative sex there is always a top and a bottom. Now, male/female sex

automatically designates the man as the top - let's face it, women just don't

have the ability to penetrate unless they use their fingers or a toy. But in

male/male sex the top position is open to negotiation. Some couples take turns,

but some couples contain a partner that finds one position or the other totally

abhorrent."

Jim moaned in agreement and Blair pressed his lips to the short hair for a

moment, soothing with actions, not words. When the shaking subsided Blair

finished making his point.

"In our marriage, Jim, you have decided that you are the bottom. I make no

secret of the fact that I have prior experience with men, and I enjoy both

roles. But understand me Jim, I love you and am happy to top. Don't ever be

afraid to tell me what you need or want in bed, Beloved. Because I sure will

tell you if we do something I don't like. Promise me you'll do that?"

"Promise," Jim choked, "Marriage?"

"Yep," Blair's voice reeked of satisfaction, "So let's get this honeymoon

started, huh? That reminds me - why are you taking leave? Did you have this

honeymoon planned?"

"The doctorate. We needed time to plan the future - can't do that at work. And

if you needed to start again at a new Uni we needed time to canvass them," Jim

confessed, then started sucking lightly on the nearest nipple. Blair sucked in a

sharp breath and arched lightly from the bed.

"New Uni?" he wouldn't be deterred, "You thought I'd fail it?"

"Thought you'd have trouble from them 'cos you changed subjects. Cover all

bases," Jim switched nipples and smiled at the small sound Blair made, "Do you

mind? I'm trying to make love here."

"Be my guest," Blair gasped and dragged Jim up for a kiss.

0o0o0o0

Their mouths fused together, tongues stroking and exploring as Jim's body

pressed Blair into the mattress. His thigh pressed between his lover's, finding

the slowly filling cock and rubbing against it lightly. Blair raised his own

thigh, returning the favor and making Jim moan into the kiss, his hips thrusting

eagerly. Reaching up under the pillow, Blair grasped the lube and a condom,

smiled and flipped them suddenly, breaking the kiss and shimmying down Jim's

body to lick and kiss his nipples. They stiffened instantly and Blair alternated

his mouth and fingers on the little nubs, careful to avoid sending his sensitive

lover into a zone.

"God!" Jim moaned, "So good!"

Blair suckled gently then blew on the wet nipple, making Jim squirm in reaction

as the hardened nub sent pleasure straight to his groin. Blair repeated the

action and then kissed his way down the chest to Jim's navel, tonguing in and

out of the little hollow, then licking around it and blowing cooler air over the

wet skin. Jim was moaning continuously, his legs spread wide and his hands

tangled in Blair's soft curls; the changes in stimulation keeping him anchored

to the present, despite senses that wanted to simply fall into the pleasure and

never come back out.

"Blair, please!" Jim moaned and Blair chuckled gently, pressed his lips to the

navel one last time and then slowly licked his way down to Jim's cock. Dropping

the lube and condom where he could get to them, Blair twisted his fingers around

Jim's balls, making them into a cock ring. Jim's cock was leaking and swollen,

resting on his belly. Blair started at the root and licked his way to the tip,

laving the crown with gentle touches and making pleased little noises at the

taste. Jim was whimpering above him, his fingers tangled firmly in Blair's hair,

holding on but not directing his lover's movements. Blair's own cock was

drooling in anticipation as Blair lubed a finger and trailed it slowly from

Jim's balls to his anus, rubbing around the pucker gently and pressing against

it.

"Yes!" Jim shrieked, his hips thrusting against Blair. The young man had been

prepared for that reaction and rode it out, "Please Love, more!"

Blair took the tip of Jim's cock in his mouth and suckled lightly, pressing his

finger into Jim's body at the same time. The other man was so dazed with

pleasure he admitted the intruding finger immediately, letting Blair stroke

gently in and out of the needy hole. Jim was making incoherent little noises

now, babbling in reaction to the long desired sensations and sobbing for breath

as pleasure stole all reason and sense. His wide splayed legs twitched against

the mattress as Blair increased the suction to his cock and tugged firmly on his

balls to prevent the other man's orgasm.

Blair added a second finger and took more of Jim's cock into his mouth. Jim's

hips were thrusting up off the bed and then down onto Blair's fingers, rocking

the pleasure addled man between the two sensations. Sealing his lips tightly

around the straining shaft, Blair hummed gently and added a third finger,

rocking into the relaxed passage tenderly and searching for the magic button.

Jim drew his thighs up, letting Blair in further and increasing his thrusts. His

grip on Blair's head was tight and his head was thrashing back and forth on the

pillows. A brush to the prostate had him screaming in delight, and thrusting

eagerly back on the fingers in his ass.

"So full," Jim sobbed, "More!"

Blair lifted his head from Jim's cock, took a deep breath and deep throated his

lover, at the same time massaging his prostate over and over again. He released

his fingers from Jim's balls and swallowed again and again as Jim came with a

howl down his lover's throat.

0o0o0o0

Jim came back to himself slowly. He was lying on his side, one leg bent out in

front, Blair holding him from behind and rocking them both back and forth. Jim

turned his head to look over his shoulder and shifted a little, gasping at the

sensation that flared through his body.

"Blair," Jim sighed in pleasure, recognizing the sensations and eager for more.

Blair was deep in Jim's ass, rocking in and out sweetly; tenderly fucking the

virgin hole. He was panting his desire and trembling with the effort to control

his body, keep the pace slow and tender. He hit Jim's prostate every second or

third strokes, making it feel like he was thrusting directly into Jim's spent

cock.

"Jim," Blair wheezed, "God, you feel so good. So tight."

"Kiss me," Jim moaned, feeling his cock stir and try to rise. It was too soon,

but the desire was there. Blair twisted up on one elbow and kissed him tenderly,

tongue stroking the roof of Jim's mouth. Jim rocked back onto his lover's cock

and Blair broke the kiss with a cry, burying his face in Jim's shoulder as his

hips rocked forward again and again. His breathing became ragged as he tried to

stave off the inevitable. Jim moaned as he felt Blair's cock swell even further

and begin to throb hard. He thrust back harder, enjoying the pleasant burn

spreading through his groin, even though he wouldn't reach orgasm again. The

last one had been too intense, though his cock twitched with each brush of his

prostate. Jim moaned in delight and felt Blair shudder in response, his cock

throbbing wildly as Jim's body squeezed and caressed him.

"Gonna come," Blair sobbed, "Jim...Jim!"

Blair came with a groan, thrusting roughly and shuddering hard before collapsing

to the mattress. He buried his face in Jim's back and panted for breath. Jim

stroked his lover's forearms lightly, reveling in the physical closeness. The

empty sensation that had been nagging him was banished completely; leaving him

filled with Blair's love.

"Thank you," Jim pulled a hand to his lips and kissed it gently, "That was

incredible."

"I'm sorry I couldn't last," Blair whispered and Jim pulled the smaller man's

arms tighter around his body, chuckling as he did.

"After that first time, I couldn't get it up if you tied it to a stick."

"Oh," Blair kissed Jim's back, "I'll take that as a compliment."

"You do that," Jim grunted, then tensed up, "Blair, no!"

Jim moaned in disappointment as Blair's cock slid slowly from his body. Blair's

hands soothed him gently, rubbing his abdomen and easing him onto his back. He

stroked his lover's trembling thighs and then leaned down to press a kiss to the

limp cock.

"Sorry Beloved," Blair pulled off the full condom and leaned over Jim to drop it

in the bin, "Your body can't hold me when I'm soft."

Jim pouted at him, which earned him a deep kiss, then pulled Blair to sprawl

over his lover's body.

"You liked that huh? The feeling of being full?" Blair dropped tiny kisses onto

Jim's face and neck. Jim nodded, playing with the silky curls and relishing the

warm skin pressed to his. Blair settled down on Jim's chest, breathing slowly as

the afterglow carried him towards sleep.

"I love you," Blair mumbled and Jim kissed the curls he was playing with.

"I love you too," he followed his lover into sleep.

0o0o0o0

Blair awoke to the most delicious sensation. His body was warm and relaxed, and

his cock was nestled firmly in something warm and wet. He moaned in delight and

reached down blindly, his fingers encountering Jim's short hair.

His lover was suckling his cock tenderly, burying his nose in Blair's groin and

snuffling through his pubic hair contentedly. Jim was making little purrs and

growls as he explored Blair's groin with his mouth. Without needing to ask Blair

knew that his Sentinel was fully on line, absorbing every aspect of his scent,

texture, and taste, face buried where all three were strongest.

"Yeah, like that," Blair whimpered as Jim nuzzled his balls and sucked on them

lightly. He stroked Jim's head gently, rubbing his fingers through the soft hair

and moaning when the resulting purr traveled through his cock. Jim slurped and

suckled the tingling sacs as Blair spread his legs wantonly and arched up in

response.

Pleasure was radiating from his groin, making his nipples tingle and his skin

shiver. Blair tilted his head back, coming up off the mattress as Jim rubbed his

cheek up and down the length of his cock, the light rasp of his beard catching

on sensitive flesh.

"Suck me Beloved," Blair begged, thrusting his hips up lightly while Jim

returned his face to his groin, scenting him erotically and purring in delight.

The noises were turning Blair on even more - he felt himself harden further and

stroked Jim's head gently, moaning in pleasure when the purrs increased to

growls and nips.

Jim's fingers stroked the creases of Blair's thighs as he pleasured his Guide's

balls again, fondling them with his tongue and lips. He reached up to push one

leg flat and then mounted it, locking his thighs around the leg and humping

gently, rubbing his leaking cock over the warm skin slowly. Blair shifted the

leg so Jim had full contact and he sighed in gratitude, licking the weeping cock

in front of him with long wet rasps.

"Oh!" Blair cried and thrust up, "Please, Beloved!"

Both hands were stroking Jim's head now, his fingers ruffling through the soft

hair and caressing the tips of Jim's ears. Jim pressed his cock to the leg

beneath him and squirmed lightly before taking the tip of his lover's cock in

his mouth and savoring the taste.

"Mmmmmmmm," he purred and felt Blair shudder in reaction, smiling a little and

pressing his tongue to the sensitive spot just below the head. Blair's trapped

leg began flexing against Jim, rubbing the erection pressed against it. Jim

growled and began humping it again, sucking lightly in time to his movements.

Blair's hands never ceased their caress as the young man thrust gently into

Jim's hot, wet mouth. Jim's drooling cock slid along the now slick leg as Blair

flexed it faster and faster. Groaning in delight, Jim sped the frequency of his

thrust and suckling, wanting them to come together. As his groin tightened Blair

found his voice, gasping breathlessly as Jim encouraged him with lips and

tongue.

"So close," Blair moaned, "Gonna come, Jim. Yeah, lover, suck me hard. Oh God,

it's so good. Please Jim, here I come!"

Jim growled and inhaled Blair's cock to the root, the dual sensation sending him

screaming over the edge. Jim swallowed quickly, letting his throat muscles milk

Blair's orgasm from him, moaning as his own orgasm overtook him, his cock

jerking and shooting all over his lover's leg.

He kept suckling until Blair's cock went soft, rolling it on his tongue gently

and licking to make sure he'd milked everything from his Guide; purring and

grumbling in contentment. Blair was gasping for breath above him and stroking

with shaky fingers through his hair. Jim's come dried slowly on Blair's leg, he

had to lift himself off reluctantly to prevent himself sticking to it painfully.

Blair's hands encouraged him to lift up, and the Sentinel wriggled up his

lover's body eagerly, snuggling in for lazy kisses and caresses.

"God, what time is it?" Blair asked hoarsely, "Talk about an alarm clock."

Jim chuckled, his face buried in the crook of Blair's neck, his lover's scent

and silken hair caressing his senses. He twined his fingers in the curls and

then reached his other hand down to grasp the limp cock.

"Shh, he's sleeping," Blair half moaned and Jim snuggled in closer, "Jim, you

with me?"

Jim purred softly and went to sleep.

"I guess not," Blair yawned and followed him.

0o0o0o0

Chapter Four - In which the furniture is rearranged in the loft (eventually).

Jim woke sprawled over his lover, one hand tangled in silky hair and the other

cradling a lax cock. He stirred and lifted his head a little, gazing up into the

sleeping face. At rest, the man looked young and innocent; none of his passion

for life or his incredible intelligence shone through the peaceful face.

Moving carefully, Jim propped his chin on the hand that had been tangled in the

warm curls, drinking in the sight of his husbands peaceful sleep. The chest

beneath his rose and fell in gentle cadence, and the closed eyes flickered

slightly in their rem cycle. Strong arms rested around Jim's waist, a warm

weight that cradled him close to his lover. One leg was tangled with Jim's, his

own cock nudging up against it.

"Mm," Blair sighed and Jim leaned down to kiss him gently on the lips. Blair's

mouth pursed against his lips and he sighed again before opening his eyes and

smiling. He raised his head for a proper kiss, slipping Jim's tongue into his

mouth and stroking it with his own before dropping his head back and licking his

lips.

"Good morning," Blair sighed, "Sleep well?"

"Best sleep in months," Jim replied truthfully, "I could get used to the luxury.

In about eighty years."

Blair laughed, the sensation tickling Jim's skin as well as his ears. He grinned

in delight and pressed closer, stroking his fingers over the cock he still

cradled gently. The laughter turned to a gasp and Blair turned into his

Beloved's body, tipping them both onto their sides, and kissing him eagerly

before leaning back again.

"Not that I mind being woken that way," he kissed Jim's jaw and neck, "But what

was that about last night?"

Jim blushed and buried his face in the crown of the curly head. Last night the

Sentinel in him had woken in a panic, fearing that it had all been one very

erotic dream, and he'd needed the reassurance of Blair's scent to calm down. He'd gotten so turned on by the musky scent in Blair's groin that he'd lost

control and taken his lover while the man slept, unable to wait for him to wake

and give permission.

"You're blushing!" the tone was gently amused, "Beloved!"

"I love it when you call me that," Jim confessed, letting his fingers wander

over the slowly filling cock and the balls below, "And last night...I needed to

know it was all real. I woke up and wanted to be surrounded by your scent and

taste."

Blair pushed up to lean over the top of Jim, his eyes searching his face.

Whatever he saw softened his gaze and he leant down for a slow, passionate kiss.

"Beloved," the tone was vastly content, "Anything you need."

"Would you..." Jim whispered, greatly daring. Carolyn had never been very

receptive of his requests in bed, even suggesting a new position had often

caused an argument. The last twenty-four hours had made Jim wonder why they got

married in the first place - things were so easy with Blair, so difficult with

Carolyn. Blair remained silent, stroking the broad chest he was cradled against.

There was nothing but love in his gaze. Jim took his hand from the cock he was

fondling, putting both arms around Blair and pulling him closer. His own cock

was hard and aching pleasurably at the thought of what he wanted Blair to do.

"Would you take me again?" Jim whispered, "Please lover. I need to feel you in

me."

"Are you sure? So soon after your first time...you must be tender," Blair bit

his lip and watched as Jim's face crumpled in disappointment. He tapped the

chest he was stroking sharply and frowned; "Jim, I mean it. I'd love to take

you, but I don't want to risk hurting you by doing it too soon. We could tear

something."

"I'm not sore," Jim promised and Blair reached a hand over Jim's waist and

trailed it to push a finger along the crack in Jim's ass. Jim moaned and arched

against it in need as the finger found the pucker and stroked around it

carefully. Blair kissed him lightly and rolled onto his back.

"Get the lube, if you're sure this is what you want," he smiled, "Just promise

you'll stop me if I hurt you."

"You won't," Jim said confidently and reached for the tube. He handed it to

Blair who put it to one side and tugged Jim down to sprawl on his chest. One

hand tugged at Jim's thigh, draping it up and over Blair's hip, spreading Jim's

legs open for his lover. Jim's breathing sped up in anticipation and he raised

his head for a kiss. Blair's lush lips parted for him immediately and their

tongues met, stroking and tangling slowly. Blair's hand cradled Jim's head, one

thumb brushing back and forth over the rim of Jim's ear.

0o0o0o0

Jim moaned as a single slippery finger pushed into him, breaching him as he bore

down on the invader eagerly. It sank in deeply and rested inside him, twisting a

little from side to side to spread the lube it was coated with. Jim broke the

kiss to pant for breath, resting his head against Blair's shoulder and quivering

in desire. Blair stroked his head gently, murmuring soft words of love and

praise as Jim stretched slowly around the single finger. He pulled out slowly,

ignoring the sound of protest Jim made and added more lube to his finger. Blair

bit his lip and made sure he was stimulating enough of Jim's other senses to

avoid a zone out as touch demanded more and more of Jim's attention.

"Shh, Beloved, just be patient," Blair crooned and pushed his finger back in. He

waited until Jim was again lying limp against his chest and then slowly pumped

in and out, using his free hand to gentle the body that twitched against him.

Jim was moaning and pushing back eagerly when Blair pulled free, added more lube

and then eased two fingers into the tight passage. Jim shivered and raised his

head for a kiss. The little noises he was making, plus the tightness of the

muscles surrounding Blair's fingers had Blair's cock standing to rigid

attention.

"More, more," Jim moaned, rubbing his cock against the thigh it had been

nudging, "Fill me up, take me now, Blair."

"Soon, Beloved," Blair sighed into the mouth that possessed his and pulled out,

adding more lube and pushing three fingers into Jim's body. He held still as Jim

gasped and froze, his eyes wide; "Too much, Beloved?"

"No!" Jim gasped, "Oh God, so good!"

He began to push himself back against the fingers, and Blair held still, letting

Jim fuck himself at the pace he needed, stretching around the intruding fingers

as he did. The detective had buried his face in Blair's chest and was panting

urgently, interspersed with eager little sounds as he drove himself back on his

husbands fingers over and over again. Blair reached down and teased his cock

with gentle strokes at the same pace Jim was fucking himself.

"Blair! God, please! I need you now!" Jim raised his head, panting wildly and

capturing Blair's mouth in a demanding kiss. Blair returned the pressure of

eager lips and tongue, pulling out gently and reaching for a condom.

"Let me," Jim broke the kiss to gasp, taking the packet from Blair's hand and

scooting down to lick at his lover's leaking cock eagerly before rolling the

rubber on and then smoothing lube over it. Blair pushed Jim onto his back and

then over onto his side, leaning in for another kiss as he urged Jim's leg up

towards his chest. He gripped his Beloved's hip with one hand, lined up against

the eager hole and pushed steadily, using a gentle pressure to overcome the

initial resistance.

"Relax Beloved, let me in," Blair's voice reflected the effort of holding still

as his cock was squeezed hard by Jim in reaction, "Shh, love, I won't hurt you."

Then Jim shuddered and Blair slid further in, all resistance gone as his lover

opened to him eagerly with a sigh of delight. The slow gentle pressure changed

to a gentle rocking of his hips, sliding a little further in each time. Jim's

cock slowly regained it's former hardness and he began to make those eager

little sounds again as Blair rocked further and further in, their bodies

slipping and sliding together as their sweat eased the friction. Blair's arms

came up and wrapped around Jim's torso; Jim held onto his forearms, eagerly

accepting the embrace.

Jim cried out in pleasure as Blair finally came to rest, buried to the hilt in

his ass. For a long moment they lay still, savoring the connection and the

intimacy that came with it; then Jim sighed and pushed his hips backwards into

the man behind him. His Guide moaned softly and started rocking in and out again

- small, tender movements that brushed his prostate and had him sighing in

pleasure.

Blair's breathing sped up - becoming harsh pants for air as he forced himself to

move slowly for Jim. The man in front of him was rapidly becoming boneless with

pleasure as Blair rocked in and out.

"Blair," Jim sighed, "Almost there, baby."

Blair smiled, pressed his lips to the skin in front of him and rocked a little

harder, listening to the grunts and moans Jim made in response. His hips flexed

smoothly, letting him plunge against his Sentinel's prostate with each movement.

Jim began to cry out, his body shivering and contracting around Blair's cock. The big man keened loudly and came, his cock jerking hard as his come spurted

over his belly and chest. Blair tightened his arms and stifled his own cry in

Jim's back, shuddering and shaking through his own orgasm, the intensity leaving

him drowsy and spent. His move to disengage was blocked indignantly by a sated

Jim, and they drifted off to sleep together.

0o0o0o0

Jim woke alone. He leapt up, startled and then relaxed when the sound of Blair's

heartbeat washed over him from downstairs, followed by his voice as he spoke

carefully into the phone.

"...I realize that Simon, but he's in a really deep sleep. I think it would be

better if he woke from that naturally," he was saying as Jim padded down the

stairs, still naked but needing to see the owner of the voice. He was sitting at

the table in the dining area, and pulled the phone away from his ear a little at

Simon's response, then put it back to speak.

"He's still recovering from..."

Jim turned up his hearing and leaned down to nuzzle Blair's ear in greeting. His

Guide was wearing his usual sleepwear, making Jim wonder how long he'd been up.

"Dammit, Sandburg, you were supposed to fix him!" Simon was complaining loudly

and Blair made scissors motions near Jim's groin, grinning evilly as his lover

leapt out of range. That was not the kind of fixing that Simon meant.

"Don't you dare," Jim growled and headed for the coffee brewing in the kitchen.

He was smiling broadly as he got their cups ready and started fishing out the

fixings for a hearty breakfast.

"He's not a car, Simon, and I'm not a mechanic. I can't wave a wand and fix him

- his body needs the downtime to assimilate the experience and then we need to

rebalance his senses again," Blair said patiently, like he had every other time

he got the blame for Jim's senses taking him off work. Simon still tended to see

Blair as a magic Band-Aid at times - something Blair did his best to conceal

from Jim.

"Look, Simon he's just coming down the stairs," Blair got up and raised his

voice to normal conversation level, Jim's ears compensating automatically for

the change, "Here."

Blair handed the phone over and went into the bathroom for Jim's robe, helping

his husband put it on and tying the sash while Jim continued to talk to Simon.

When he would have moved away, Jim's arm snaked around him and pulled him in

close for a hug. Blair leaned his face into Jim's chest and settled in, his own

arms coming up to hold his Sentinel close.

"Sure, I can come in for a couple of hours," Jim was saying in a resigned tone

of voice, "No, I'll be fine. Yeah, Simon, I'm sure. See you in an hour, ok?"

"Work calls, huh," Blair sympathized as Jim turned the handset off, "Want me to

come in with you?"

"Nah, it's just paperwork," Jim snuggled closer and buried his face in curly

hair, "I won't be long. While I'm gone you can get started."

"Started on what?" Blair nuzzled Jim's neck lightly, pressing his lips and teeth

to the skin there at random to feel Jim shiver.

"Moving your stuff upstairs," Jim replied hoarsely, "And organizing the new

office."

"Hmm," Blair pulled back, smiling at his lover, "Why do I think that going to

the station is suddenly the softer option."

"I don't know what you mean," Jim vowed, kissing inviting lips and then

straightening before his body could detour him back to bed, making him late for

the meeting with Simon and the paperwork that would follow.

0o0o0o0

It took longer than Jim and Simon expected. One thing after another came up,

requiring the attention of both men to resolve the administrative side of things

and square it all with the DA. Jim had called home and got the answering machine

- Blair had mentioned errands to run - and then plunged back into it all.

Blair was asleep when Jim got home. His senses had been looking restlessly for

his Guide ever since he turned onto Prospect, and Jim eased the door shut,

toeing off his shoes and hanging up his jacket and gun quietly. Jim paused in

the door to Blair's room, his face frowning a little.

The futon had resumed its couch shape, and Blair's cushions were scattered all

over the seat. The bedding was gone and so were any of Blair's clothes that

usually lurked in piles all over the place. Other than that, the room was

unchanged. Jim stepped in and walked past the desk and bulging bookshelf - both

crammed full of papers books and artifacts. He opened the rickety chest of

drawers Blair had bought on the cheap and discovered that his lover's underwear

had been replaced with still more files and a smattering of CD's, computer

disks, books and VCR tapes. The bedding was folded and placed on the shelf in

the small closet that usually held Blair's sweaters and shirts that didn't need

folding - quite a few. Jim pulled Blair's pillow down and sniffed deeply,

enjoying his lover's scent. Cradling the pillow to his chest he also pulled down

the brightly patterned quilt that Blair folded double and used on his bed.

Unfolded, it would be big enough to cover the queen-sized bed upstairs. Jim had

always liked the bright colors and patterns on the quilt - maybe Blair was

worried his senses would find it too stimulating.

Jim turned and went upstairs. Blair was lying curled up on top of the covers, a

book and his glasses in front of him. Jim smiled, took the pillowcase off the

pillow near Blair's head and slipped it over Blair's pillow before tossing the

now spare pillow over the railing to land on the table. He dropped the quilt

onto the bed and then turned to look through his drawers. Blair had crammed all

his stuff into the bottom drawer, leaving the top three drawers full of Jim's

stuff. Jim sighed, emptied the top and third drawer, then redistributed Blair's

underwear between them, rearranging his own stuff back into neatness. Then he

did the same in the closet. With Carolyn they'd chosen 'sides' and hung their

gear accordingly. After the divorce, Jim had spread his clothes out, kind of

reclaiming his territory. Blair had stuffed everything into a corner. Jim moved

things around, dividing the closet into half again, happily accommodating the

extra clothes, and even refolding the tangled sweaters to make sure they didn't

wrinkle. Shaking his head at the heavy sleeper on the bed, Jim looked around

their bedroom again, trying to spot what else had to be done to make Blair an

equal inhabitant.

A glance in the bedside drawers next to Blair confirmed his lover hadn't added

or disturbed anything there and Jim emptied the junk that had accumulated out,

carrying it downstairs and dropping it onto the futon in the new office. He

emptied Blair's drawers, put his junk into them, then carried it all upstairs -

a jumble of books, herbal remedies, lube and condoms, Blair's disc player and

CD's, and a few magazines.

Jim put everything except the magazines away and then crawled on the bed next to

his partner, sitting against the railing to open the glossy mag's and search for

his husband's name. He read every article Blair had published in there

curiously. Knowing the man as he did it was fascinating to hear his lover's

voice come from the print - the easy lecturing tone supplied from Jim's memory.

It was a mixture of excited discovery, seasoned knowledge and eager sharing.

"Hey," Blair's actual voice drew his attention straight away and he smiled at

the eye peeping from tangled curls, "Whatcha reading?"

"The article you published about the smuggling ring we busted that time we went

fly fishing with Simon. You know - the clash of modern and tradition medicines

and the culture it was changing," Jim held up the article for Blair to see and

then leaned over for a kiss, helping himself to warm lips.

"Been here long?" Blair rolled over when the kiss broke and rested a hand on

Jim's leg.

"Not really," Jim shook his head, "Why didn't you move your stuff in properly?"

"Huh?" Blair frowned, "I brought it all up."

"Yeah but you only used one drawer and maybe a tenth of the closet. This is our

room, Chief, you get equal space rights," Jim smiled at his slightly pink

husband and put the magazine to one side, "It's ok, I spread you out a bit

more."

"Great, now I'll never find anything," Blair mock grumbled, and sat up, "Thanks

Beloved. I guess I didn't want to trample your space."

"You could never do that," Jim assured him, "That reminds me, would you mind if

we used your quilt up here? I've always liked that one."

"Sure," Blair shrugged, glancing at the bright object on the corner of the bed,

"How was work? Everything ok?"

"Yeah," Jim shrugged too; he didn't want to discuss work when they could be

discussing their future, "Just more paperwork than usual - someone from the

other squad stuffed up and we had to cover our asses. Same old, same old. Chief,

do you think we could add a bookcase up here? That stretch along the railing is

bare, we could build one to run along there."

"Sure," Blair shrugged again, not even bothering to look, "Whatever you like,

Beloved."

Jim got the feeling that it hadn't quite sunk in for Blair that this was his

room too. He smiled at his significant other and got up. That would come

eventually, and until then Jim would be able to spoil Blair rotten - something

he rarely got away with. His young lover was fiercely independent.

"Come on then," he stretched out a hand to pull Blair up, "We can get the timber

now and some take out for dinner. If we get it built tonight we can varnish it

tomorrow."

"Lead on," Blair held his hand tightly and followed Jim down the stairs.

0o0o0o0

Chapter Five - In which the boys hit a little snag.

Blair sighed, coughed and looked around at his current situation. Cold and wet -

check. Surrounded by filth and foul smells - check. Struggling against a

deadline that would prove fatal if he missed it - check.

Life with a cop is just laugh after laugh, Blair mused and shivered. Their

latest case was not going well. Yet another nutcase had come to Cascade -

surprise, surprise - and decided to blow large chunks of it up for fun and

profit.

The pieces he chose to blow up belonged to the rich and connected of Cascade.

They yelled at the Mayor, who yelled at the Commissioner, who yelled at the

Chief, who yelled at Captain Banks, who yelled at the team of Ellison and

Sandburg.

The media yelled at everyone - stirring up trouble as often as not - and Jim and

Blair started pulling all nighters in an effort to narrow down their list of

suspects. Joel had joined them, working the forensics side of things and

reconstructing the bombs for Jim and Blair to work from. The leaks in the

department didn't help - no one could figure out where it was coming from, so

many people came through the bullpen and worked as assistants on the case that

it could have literally been one of hundred's of suspects.

So far the guy had used household items in his construction - no rare gold

watches, fancy ingredients or sophisticated equipment. The waterfront was taking

a real beating as he targeted Cascade's lucrative import/export trade - to the

relief of the land freight companies, who'd been the first targets.

Using prior experience, anecdotal and written sources, forensic expertise and

his grandmother's knitting patterns, Joel managed to profile their nutter, and

Blair pulled record after record from the database and Cascades paper files in

an effort to match it. Jim hit the snitches and rumor mills, eavesdropping

Sentinel style on various bars and shelters to try and find their quarry's

trail.

Blair had the most luck, finding a match for the profile so close it was as if

Joel had held auditions and based his conclusions on one of the candidates.

Unfortunately the leak had struck - or leaked - again and Blair's name had been

splashed all over the place as the man who broke the case.

"What a load of crap," Blair spat in disgust when someone brought it to his

attention, "It was Joel's profile - and the people in forensics' gave us all

that data to work from."

The response circled the PD rapidly - sending Blair's stock up with a lot of the

support teams and the Bomb Squad. Jim rolled his eyes when he spotted the story

in the paper and made sure to tease Blair about the spelling of his name - the

article Jim had seen had called his lover 'Sandbug'. That had sparked a new

nickname in Major Crimes - with Joel the ringleader this time.

The bomber - delighted to have a name and face against which to pit himself -

started taunting Blair in the media, over the phone and through the mail. This

had the effect of creating even more hype surrounding the case and pissing

Detective Ellison off royally. No one threatened his husband and got away with

it. He started pushing himself even harder - which meant that Blair worked

harder too as he struggled to keep his Sentinel on line.

They had split up to run errands before going home to sleep - they hadn't had

sex since the case started, both men were too exhausted by the time they got

home to do more than kiss and fall asleep - when Blair was taken. The bomber had

got his hands on a trank gun - one used by vets actually - and caught Blair as

he came out of the all night grocery store three blocks from home. Animal

tranquilizers had kept Blair unconscious for twelve hours. By then he'd been

dumped in a small maintenance chamber in Cascades storm water system. He woke to

dim lighting and a hacking cough - the cold wet air having done a number on his

lungs. Careful examination of his surroundings located a final message from the

bomber. The anthropologist had two hours left of his deadline to locate a final

bomb connected to the gas mains underneath one of Cascades largest shopping

malls. The instructions on how to disarm the bomb were included, as was the

intelligence that the bomber had sealed or blocked all the exits from the storm

water system nearest Blair. If this was true, he would not be able to exit the

system, call for backup and locate the bomb in time; it came down to choosing

between risking his health by staying down there, or risking an explosion by

trying to get up to the surface.

Blair had taken his letter and headed out immediately. His lungs - weakened by

his prior drowning - were now burning with each breath; a warning that pneumonia

was getting a grip on him once again. His body was wracked with chills and fever

as he fought off encroaching hypothermia and his vision wasn't too steady

either.

Each junction had to be examined carefully for clues on his location and

confirmation that he was headed in the right direction. Luckily the Cascade

engineers painted the street names that were running above the storm water

system onto the tunnels at each junction - so it was like walking the streets

above. Running when he could - his breathing was becoming more and more labored

as time passed - Blair steadily made his way towards the bomb.

He knew that Jim would be searching for him, so as he moved, Blair talked. He

described where he was and what he was doing; complained about the location when

a particularly nasty bit of rubbish floated by. He discussed their plans for a

long vacation and demanded they go somewhere warm and tropical. His voice came

in gasps and coughs as he neared his objective, but it didn't deter him from

talking.

The bomb was easy to find. Blair had five minutes on the counter when he arrived

and he used one of those minutes to carefully check that there were no wires or

secondary devices leading from the bomb. Satisfied that he wasn't about to make

things worse, Blair carefully located the correct wire, traced it back to it's

source and thought quickly about what Joel had told him over the years. With

thirty seconds left on the counter Blair pulled his chosen wire free. The

counter turned itself off. Blair leaned against the wall for support and tried

to control his breathing. A series of hacking coughs left him bent double on his

knees, gasping for breath and hanging on to consciousness grimly.

0o0o0o0

Jim paced the emergency room anxiously. He'd been unable to find Blair - too

tired to used his senses with the precision required. He'd needed his Guide to

find his Guide and the irony hadn't escaped him. Their nutcase had taped Blair's

return to consciousness and parts of his journey to the bombsite, and the

eventual disarming of the bomb. Then he'd sent that tape to the local television

station. By the time the cops found Blair he was unconscious and turning blue.

Jim had been on the other side of the city when the call came in, and Simon had

ordered him to head for the hospital instead of the site. Blair's ambulance was

en route now and Jim was anxious for his first glimpse of his lover.

"Detective Ellison," a nurse called, and waved a phone at him when he turned to

face her. He was there in a flash, taking the proffered phone with a smile and

then turning a shoulder to her for a little privacy.

"Ellison," he barked.

"It's Joel," the familiar voice crackled over the line as Joel's cell phone

struggled with the distance, "Blair's on his way, Jim."

Jim repressed his impatience - he knew that already from Simon, but there was

something in Joel's tone...

"How was he?" Jim's voice was sharp with anxiety. Joel sighed on the other end

and paused for a moment. Jim's gut siezed in terror as the worst case senario

instantly leapt to mind, and he began chanting silently 'please don't be dead'

over and over again.

"He's not good, Jim," Joel confessed reluctantly, "His lips were going blue when

I got to him. He's almost hypothermic, but fevered and in shock. God knows how

he made it so far. He also pulled a different wire to what the instructions

said."

"What?" Jim exclaimed in horror. How could a man with a Ph.D. read the

instructions so badly he pulled the wrong wire? Was he that sick?

"It's ok, he meant to. From what I've seen, the bastard left directions for him

to pull the wrong wire. He wanted Sandburg to blow the joint up I guess. Good

thing Sandburg retains everything you tell him - he located the right one and

pulled it instead. Bomb's completely inert and there's no remote detonator, so

we're clear. We'll transport it to HQ immediately and I'll start taking it

apart. Maybe this time we'll find something to catch the bastard," Joel paused a

moment and then came to a decision, "It's all over the news, Jim. He taped it by

remote and sent the tape in. It's how we found Blair. The asshole called in to

Cascade FM a few minutes ago and saluted his 'worthy adversary' live on air. The

media is heading your way, so try not to..."

"Shoot anyone," Jim finished the sentence heavily and sighed, "Don't worry Joel

- I won't kill anyone."

"Simon's furious. He's on the way to the hospital with Rafe and Brown now. The

Chief and the Commissioner are both at the court trying to get repression orders

on the media - but you know how it goes. You just take care of your partner."

"I hear that," Jim replied and they hung up. A quick check with his hearing

indicated Blair's ambulance was two blocks away. He turned and headed for the

doors, waiting under the canopy for the vehicle to arrive, beating the staff to

position.

The doors were flung open as the vehicle rocked to a halt and Jim leapt forward

to catch the end of the stretcher, then grasp his lover's hand. Blair was

swathed in blankets and foil, propped upright under an oxygen mask. His lips

were still tinged blue and he was breathing in harsh gasps, struggling to open

his eyes more than half way and ease the pain in his body. His grip on Jim's

hand was tight and his eyes searched to find his husbands face.

"I'm here Blair," Jim jogged beside the stretcher, ignoring the staff around

them, "Hang on buddy."

The transfer to the table in the treatment room made Blair groan and then start

to cough. He flailed both arms free of the blankets and was snatched to Jim's

chest. The detective held the shuddering body to him and massaged the cold back

gently, murmuring quietly in comfort as Blair struggled to breathe between

spasms. The stench and damp was ignored as the Sentinel tried to ease his

Guide's discomfort. Five unpleasant minutes later Blair managed to regain

control and was placed back on the table, his hand once again wrapped around his

lover's.

"Detective, it would be better if you waited outside," the doctor frowned and

then stepped back as the glare hit him. The voice that replied was cold and

deadly.

"Work around me - because I'm not leaving."

They worked around him.

0o0o0o0

Blair woke reluctantly. Jim had been in and out for the last few days, splitting

his time between his sick partner and the case. Blair hated waking alone, but he

hated waking when Jim was there even more. His lover looked like death warmed

over and the poster child for exhaustion to boot. Still unable to say more than

three words without running out of air and almost fainting - or worse,

triggering a coughing attack - Blair had been unable to persuade his Beloved to

go home and sleep instead of visiting him. The pneumonia had filled his lungs

with fluid - effectively drowning him on dry land - and an infection had set in

as well. Blair was forced to sleep sitting propped upright, an uncomfortable

position that prevented him from curling on his side. So far the fight for

breath had prevented him protesting, but as soon as he got a bit of energy to

spare...

Medicated to the eyes, Blair wasn't able to do more than sleep and stare at the

ceiling for brief periods before sleeping again. He'd graduated from an oxygen

tent to a mask, full of medicated air that left his sore throat dry.

Opening his eyes and glancing around sleepily, Blair realized Jim wasn't there

and started worrying pretty much straight away about what his Sentinel was doing

where his Guide couldn't reach him. In the three months since the two men had

become lovers Blair had found his instincts when it came to Jim Ellison doing

risky things had improved phenomenally. Maybe it was a Sentinel/Guide/Shaman

thing, or just an 'I love you so much I can't live without you' thing, the young

man had had several flashes over the past few months that had saved Jim's life.

Blair's eyes began to drift shut against his will when the door opened and Jim

hurried in, a huge grin splitting his face. Blair felt a flash of relief, and

from the way Jim's face lit up even further it had shown in his eyes.

"We got him," he leant over the sick man and kissed his forehead and temples

feverishly, "We got him Chief, he's going away for a long time."

Blair smiled up at his excited lover through the mask and managed to tangle his

fingers in Jim's jacket, tugging weakly so the other man would sit on the bed

with him. Jim obliged happily, scooting close so Blair's hand rested on his

thighs and Jim could lean in for a feather light hug, gathering the sick man in

for some prolonged contact - something they'd both craved over the past week.

"Simon helped me track him down. He says he's got more respect for you if you

have to put up with the kind of trouble I gave him. Hush, hush, it's ok - three

tiny little zone's that I caught before he could get too far into his idea of

the Guide voice. And I never zoned at all during the final arrest and search

stuff - used smell to find his cache of explosives. That's right, love. Just

relax. It's all over."

Jim smiled as he felt the tension drain out of Blair's body, and his partner's

head drooped to rest on his shoulder. Making sure the mask wasn't dislodged at

all, Jim started rocking just a little, filling the room with his words the way

Blair would if their situations were reversed.

"Henri and Rafe are both planning to come visit you soon, and Joel's been here

every day. He always seems to pick a time when you're asleep. Rest, love, I'm

here. Simon's been here a couple of times too - says he wants to make sure

you're not disgracing us by trying to date the nurses. I could tell him you're

taken but I think he'd see that as too much information. Shh, I'm not arguing

with you - I won't come out at work until you're sure we won't suffer for it. I

love you Blair, just sleep now."

When he was sure that Blair was asleep again, Jim slowed his rocking to a stop

and tenderly lay his partner back against the hated cushions that braced him

upright. He smoothed the tangled curls back and checked the fitting on the mask

again, then went below the sounds of the machines Blair was hooked to, listening

to the ailing lungs that were starting to sound clearer, and the heartbeat that

was less labored as more oxygen reached it.

Scooting a little closer and accidentally pushing Blair's hand into his groin,

Jim leaned forward and snuggled his face into the crook of Blair's neck,

drinking in the scent of his lover's skin and feeling the tension that had

wracked his body slowly draining away.

Simon found him asleep, still in that position, three hours later.

0o0o0o0

Chapter Six - In which sex is prescribed as therapy.

Jim's eyes opened slowly and he smiled in contentment. He was home, he had

nowhere to be, and Blair was draped over his body like a living blanket. His

very own teddy bear was breathing slow and deep, the last of the congestion

finally gone from his lungs. After a month of breathing therapy and medication

Blair had finally been released from the restriction's that had governed his

life. He could sleep flat on his back if he wanted, he could climb stairs, walk

as far as he wanted to and could engage in gentle exercise.

Still unfit for duty in the field - the doctors wanted him to take it easy for

at least another month, building his stamina with gradual aerobic exercise -

Blair was stuck at home. Jim had decided to take his first vacation since Blair

successfully defended his thesis and made surprise bookings for the warmer

climate of the Bahamas. They left in two weeks time - plenty of time for Blair

to recover some stamina and be able to deal with the stress of flying on a

plane.

Blair stirred and licked the nipple next to his mouth experimentally. He opened

his eyes and smiled when Jim shivered and the little nub of flesh hardened to a

point. Neither man had seen much action since Blair's pneumonia.

"Good morning," he mumbled and took the nipple into his mouth, licking and

sucking idly. It felt so good to breathe easily after so many months of

struggling. Jim's hands came up to pull him away from the enticing nipple and he

pouted at his husband.

"I was enjoying that," Blair protested and leaned up to kiss Jim's lips instead.

The big man moaned eagerly then broke away a little desperately. It had been so

long since Blair had felt well enough to initiate their lovemaking - and Jim had

restrained himself, not wanting to put demands on his lover the man couldn't

meet.

"Stop," he gasped, "Not supposed to get you worked up."

"The doctors said aerobic exercise, Jim," Blair's grin was wicked, "This

definitely qualifies."

He took Jim's mouth again, in a lazy, loving kiss that had Jim's lower brain

standing up and waving. Jim wrapped his arms around Blair tightly and returned

the kiss with enthusiasm. They broke for air, and Jim looked Blair over

carefully, noticing the increased heart and respiration rate.

"Chief, please," Jim sighed, "I want to so much, but I don't want to risk you."

"Beloved," Blair kissed Jim's nose gently, "I know my limits. We can do this, I

promise. If it will make you feel better, we'll prop me up on some pillows and

you can do all the work."

Jim moaned and arched against the man blanketing his body eagerly. He loved to

ride while his Guide smiled up at him from their bed. Blair's cock was rubbing

against Jim's thigh, pre come seeping from the crown. Both men were too aroused

for this to last long, but neither minded. They craved the intimacy that the

hospital had denied them and the illness had forbidden.

Blair rolled off Jim and sat up; his partner eagerly positioning pillows to

cradle the smaller man comfortably. Blair spread his legs a little and smiled at

Jim.

"Come on Beloved," he caressed Jim's face, "Come on up here and ride."

Jim grabbed the lube from the bedside table and sat up. He found a condom and

rolled it onto Blair's cock tenderly and added some lube, then straddled the

other man and leaned in for a kiss. Tongues flexed against each other and lips

nibbled and sucked. Jim broke the kiss before Blair could get winded and nibbled

from his lips to his ear lobe, where he suckled and nipped gently, while Blair

played with his nipples.

"Blair," Jim sighed in his ear, "I'm wearing the plug."

Jim took Blair's hand and guided it between his legs to where the end of the

butt plug rested. Blair had bought some toys three weeks into their sexual

relationship - a few dildo's, a cockring and a butt plug. The feeling of being

full and dressed left Jim in such a randy mood that they only used it on their

days off. The toys had sat neglected while Blair was in hospital, but last night

Jim had inserted the plug while his lover was in the bathroom, hoping they'd at

least be able to play with the toys even if Blair wasn't fit enough to engage in

active sex.

Gripping the plug tightly, Blair slowly eased it out of his lover's body,

moaning in delight as Jim sucked on his shoulder - leaving a love bite behind.

Both men were breathing quickly as their bodies strained for release in each

other.

"Mark me Beloved," Blair kissed the short hair and finished pulling the plug

out. Jim was trembling in anticipation and bit down again as his body reacted to

the absence of the plug.

"Blair! Now!" Jim arched his back and felt his hips grasped by strong hands and

guided into position. The crown of Blair's cock brushed his spasming hole and

Jim pushed down eagerly, swallowing the thick cock eagerly, both men shouting in

pleasure as Jim's body was breached.

Blair's hands closed around Jim's cock, squeezing tight, the tip just poking out

of his top hand. Jim groaned in desire and kissed him desperately before pulling

back and shivering as Blair's hands squeezed and relaxed.

"Fuck yourself baby. Fuck yourself on my cock, in my hands," Blair groaned, his

whole groin shooting tendrils of pleasure through his body as his cock was

engulfed in Jim's hot, tight ass. Jim shuddered and rocked up into Blair's hands

and then down onto his cock, his hands braced on Blair's shoulders.

Both men moaned in pleasure and Jim started moving, pounding down on his lover's

cock and up into his hands. The harsh sound of their breathing and their noises

of delight echoed through the loft as Jim moved faster and faster, grinding

himself wantonly on Blair's cock. Blair's hips were rocking up to meet him, the

extra action brushing Jim's prostate over and over again, sending spikes of

sensation screaming through his body.

"Blair, baby, can't hold it," Jim sobbed, "Gonna come!"

"Yeah, let me see you come. Do it, Beloved," Blair panted wildly and the words

sent Jim screaming over the edge. Blair followed as the spasming ass milked his

cock hard, drawing his orgasm out of him in intense waves. Jim's come spurted

all over his hands and chest as Blair shuddered and shook in reaction. Jim

collapsed forward over his lover and listened as the other man gasped for

breath. For a moment he was back in the hospital, willing Blair to live, then

warm arms encircled him and warm lips nuzzled his temple.

"That was so good," Blair moaned, "Thank you."

"You ok?" Jim couldn't conceal his anxiety. Blair nodded, but didn't stop

nuzzling his temple. Jim felt so secure and loved that his twanging emotions

threatened to spill out of his control as the stress of watching Blair fight for

his life caught up to him.

"You want the plug again?" he was asked tenderly, "We can do this again

tonight."

"Yes please," Jim breathed into warm skin and felt skillful hands lift him up

off the other mans cock and then tenderly insert the plug. He was lowered back

into Blair's lap and gathered close again.

"Love you so much," Jim sobbed suddenly, overwhelmed, "Don't ever leave me."

"I won't, Beloved. I'm right here," the croon soothed him to sleep, snuggled in

his husbands arms.

0o0o0o0

When Jim woke, Blair was curled on his side, his head pillowed on Jim's thigh

and his partners cock in his mouth. Jim purred and felt the young man smile,

rolling the slowly filling organ lightly on his tongue and giving it the

occasional suck.

"Blair," Jim sighed and then made a disappointed sound as the mouth released him

and Blair sat up. The curls swung around to frame his face, a wicked smile

gracing his lips as he leaned forward to lick at Jim's nipples. A strong hand

curled around Jim's cock and long fingers, callused from years of field work

stroked up and down in a rippling pattern that made Jim whimper in delight,

arching his hips off the bed.

"Like that?" Blair purred and Jim nodded eagerly, pushing into the strong hand, "Oh yeah, look at you. So eager for it."

"Please, Blair. I need you..."Jim whispered, tugging at curls to get Blair's

mouth level with his. He kissed the other man urgently while his cock was

expertly teased.

"Want me?" Blair cooed, "Hmm?"

"Yes," Jim gasped and wrenched himself away to kneel on all fours on the bed,

offering his ass to his husband and moaning in relief when Blair reached for the

lube and a condom. He heard his lover prepare the cock Jim was lusting over and

then move behind him, strong fingers spreading his cheeks and grasping the plug.

"Tell me, James," the sexy rumble had Jim straining back against restraining

hands and whimpering, "How do you want me? Shall I take you slowly and gently;

barely moving inside you?"

Jim shook his head - slow and tender was beautiful and he often passed out from

coming so hard, but not what he needed from his lover tonight. He wanted to

feel...

"Perhaps you'd rather I took you hard and fast...pounding into your tight hole

until all you can feel is my cock filling you, tunneling so deep you'll never

get me out - owning you..."

The hot whisper had Jim nodding vigorously - that was exactly what he wanted. He

wanted to feel his lover behind him, feel the irrepressible energy that was his

partner at the peak of health and vitality.

Blair's hands pushed him forward hard and Jim dropped his head, pushing back.

His lover's hands spread him wide open, removed the plug - and as Jim shivered

through the contractions in his ass as muscles reacted to the toys removal -

thrust up and in, in one hard stroke, his thighs slamming into Jim's, his groin

mashing into Jim's ass as Jim rounded his back and howled in reaction, his cock

leaping and twitching.

Blair's grip on his hips was leaving finger shaped bruises as he withdrew almost

completely out and then plunged back in, slamming into his prostate and making

him scream and writhe under the assault on his body, his senses flying off the

charts as touch took smell and hearing with it. He could feel the blood and

semen pounding beneath Blair's skin, smell his pleasure and hear the pounding of

his heart, the small groans of ecstasy.

Jim was screaming with the slightest movement of his lover, thrusting back

eagerly, trying to absorb Blair through their connection, his nerves firing

randomly in pleasure. Blair was nailing him to the mattress, nailing his

prostate with every thrust, raising his own voice to join Jim's as the

stimulation became too much and his orgasm overtook him, blasting from his body,

carrying Jim over the edge - his cock untouched, but shooting it's load all over

his body and the sheets beneath him.

Blair fainted, shuddering and falling forward onto Jim as he collapsed onto the

bed in reaction to his own orgasm. Jim reached back awkwardly and rubbed at

Blair's limp arm, gasping for breath and trying to control pleasure spiked

senses enough to get a reading on his Guide.

"Blair; lover, please?" Jim whimpered, twisting as much as he could while they

were still joined. There was no reaction from the limp man and Jim bit his lip,

then bore down on Blair's cock, pushing it from his body with small groans of

effort. Once Blair was free Jim twisted out from under and gathered his Guide

up, frantically rubbing at the sweaty skin and cradling him close, rocking back

and forth. Both men were breathing hard, and Jim still couldn't get his senses

to focus enough for a reliable reading on Blair.

After what seemed like eternity Blair stirred and opened his eyes. Jim sobbed in

relief and started showering him with kisses, babbling broken words of love,

reassurance and praise.

"Beloved," the single word stemmed the tide, "I'm ok. It was just so good..."

"Scared me," the words were muttered into silken curls. Blair's arms wrapped

around him and he was shifted onto his side. The smaller man burrowed into Jim's

body and the cop reacted by wrapping arms and legs around him in a full body

embrace. They lay like that for a long time.

0o0o0o0

Blair woke to breakfast in bed, prepared by a beaming Jim. They ate in

companionable silence and then got up to change the sheets - a must after eating

in bed, whether the sheets were come stained or not.

Jim carried the dishes to the kitchen while Blair shaved, then slipped into the

bathroom for his own shave while Blair prepared for a shower. He was surprised

when the razor was plucked from his hand and he was backed to sit on the toilet.

Blair smiled gently, straddled him and began shaving his face, paying strict

attention and care to the task. He washed Jim's face afterwards and then checked

for stray bristles with his lips, covering every inch with loving care. Jim

became erect under the attention, his cock peeping from the gap in his robe.

Blair was just as erect, but Jim made no move to touch him, understanding that

Blair was in control here and now.

Standing, Blair urged his Beloved up and stripped his robe off. The water was

turned on, the temperature tested and then Jim was helped in. Neither man had

spoken a word. Jim stood obediently under the warm stream of water as Blair

lathered his hands and washed his husband from head to toe, handling his

genitals with reverence and kissing the cock that was beginning to throb before

moving down the strong thighs to the calves and feet.

Turning Jim into the spray, Blair lathered shampoo and then conditioner into the

short hair, rinsing both out thoroughly and treating the scalp to a firm massage

as he did. Jim was purring at all the attention being lavished on his body,

retaining enough control to remain upright and that was all.

Blair turned his Beloved back to face him and kissed the man with everything he

had. The purrs increased and Blair felt his own cock surge at the sounds -

nothing turned him on more than when Jim went catlike on him. He nudged Jim up

against the wall and rubbed their groins together, growling when his cock

connected with Jim's, sending sparks of pleasure radiating from his groin. Jim

rumbled deep in his chest and nudged his hips into Blair, stroking their cocks

together languidly - too lazy from the pampering to do much more.

Tongues toyed with each other and hands caressed wet flesh as the two men made

slow, tender love. Blair lifted a leg and wrapped it around one of Jim's to

increase the amount of contact and both men sighed deeply in pleasure. The kiss

turned from one deep meeting of mouths to a series of soft gentle touches; jaw

lines and necks explored and cherished as their cocks slid and slipped together.

Jim's hands slid onto Blair's ass, cupping reverently and matching each move

without trying to direct or hinder it. His skin was tingling pleasurably with

each touch and movement and Jim heard his own purr deepen to a vibration that

traveled through both their bodies. Blair growled low in response and Jim's

breath hitched as his cock jerked at the sexy sound.

Blair felt like he was going insane as the pleasure welled from his groin and

filled his entire body. Each movement added more sensation to his already

stimulated body. He raised his face from where it was buried in Jim's chest for

a kiss that was slow and deep. His heart began to pound with the beginning of

his orgasm and he slowed their movement even more, drawing it out. He felt Jim's

balls draw up close to his lover's body and slipped his hand from Jim's waist to

his ass cheek. The simple touches were enough for the big man to growl into the

kiss and reach climax, his cock jerking hard against Blair's and providing the

last sensation his lover needed to come, gasping and shuddering.

They leaned against each other for a moment before Blair pulled back. He rinsed

them both off and then shut off the water - grateful the hot water had lasted

for their tryst. He tugged Jim out of the shower and gently dried him off,

massaging already loose muscles and enjoying the quality time with his partner's

body. He put the robe back on Jim and kissed him soundly.

"There," Blair couldn't keep the satisfaction from his voice, "Go and get

dressed Beloved."

"Thank you," Jim stroked a finger over Blair's jaw, "I love you."

"I love you too. Go on now; I'll be right out," Blair smiled, kissed the other

man one last time and watched him head out with a spring in his step Blair

hadn't seen since he'd come home from hospital.

0o0o0o0

Epilogue - In which life goes on...

Folding the towel and hanging it just so, Jim flipped off the light in the kitchen and wandered out to sit on the couch. Blair was sitting in his usual corner, hair pulled back, laptop perched on his thighs as he typed rapidly. The sound of the keys under his Guide's fingers was a soothing stacato rhythm.

"How's it going?" Jim sat down and lifted his feet to nudge his toes beneath Blair's thighs. Blair smiled over at him, making his heart leap as always at the simple love and acceptance in that one little expression. Feeling very content with his Guide in reach and territory secure, the Sentinel basked a little on the couch, wriggling his trapped toes and grinning at the other man. Blair adjusted so they would both be comfortable and then replaced his hands on the keyboard.

"The article is nearly finished and we're losing here," he nodded at the game on TV, "Honestly, you have to wonder what the coach has been doing this year."

"They're just having a bad season," Jim replied absently, "It happens."

"Uh huh," Blair frowned and deleted something before picking up the pace again. The clicks of the keys and the quiet sound from the TV were enough to nearly send Jim to sleep. He drifted on and off, letting the contact with his Guide prevent a zone.

Things hadn't been too hectic lately for either man. Blair had been 'borrowed' by a few of the departments in the PD - prompting Rafe and Brown to mock up a waiver to be signed with dire consequences for the borrower if their consultant wasn't returned in mint condition. Jim had laughed himself almost sick when he'd discovered it, and then promptly hidden the form from Blair. The criminal element had apparently taken a holiday, though Jim had been busy in court as several different cases came up one after the other. The tediousness of waiting to testify had only been alleviated when Blair dragged him into a closet for a lunch time quickie - sending his detective back to court slightly dazed and feeling no pain. The memory was a pleasurable one; the feeling of his husbands lips around his cock, the finger that had teased his pucker as he tried to stifle the moans in his throat before they were discovered...

"Quit it," Blair didn't even look up, "You're setting off my zone alert. Go on upstairs and get to bed, Beloved. I'll be up soon."

Jim snorted but heaved himself up off the couch and bent to kiss Blair goodnight. He paused at the steps to look at the man with whom he'd spend the rest of his life with a smile.

"Life is good, Blair. As long as we're together," Jim said quietly, "Forever."

"Forever is a long time, Jim. You'll need your sleep," Blair looked over at him, "Go on, husband mine. I promise not to be too long."

"Size queen," Jim muttered to disguise the irrational pricks of moisture in his eyes and went upstairs to bed, Blair's chuckles tickling his ears.

End


	2. Wants

I don't own nothing - don't sue

This is a follow on from needs, and has not been beta'd. thanks to everyone who

gave me feedback on the first one!

There's another gay couple at the pd! (but you'll have to read it to find out

who) and the violence comes from blair owwies and some crooked cops. This is a

sequel to Needs.

Chapter One - In which things start off well.

Jim's senses were awash in pleasure. His body thrummed and pulsed in the skilled

hands of his lover, making him tremble and moan in desire. He could smell

Blair's voice and taste his touch as the sensations peaked and dipped at his

Guide's will. The scent of Blair's skin resonated like a profound bass

throughout his body as his husband stroked, rubbed and thrust into him. His

voice rippled in the air before pleasure dazed eyes, the colours merging into a

beautiful kaleidoscope. Unable to distinguish where his body ended and Blair's

began, Jim let the sensations wash over him, carrying him away to be shattered

in climax again and again under his lover's tender care.

Blair eased from Jim's body carefully and gasped for air. He ran a hand gently

over Jim's hip, grounding his zoned and dazed Sentinel as the man surfed the

sensations that were still humming through his very sated body. Once he'd

recovered a little Blair set about cleaning their bodies enough for sleep,

listening to the whimpers of pleasure his lover was still making and not

surprised that he came again when Blair touched his pucker with the wash cloth.

Jim's joy at finally being touched there - where he needed it most - had not

diminished one iota.

Dropping the cloth on the railing, Blair scooted up to sit against the

headboard. They'd turned the heat in the loft up before coming to bed, so it was

warm enough for the usually cold anthropologist to sit in bed naked.

"Beloved," Blair crooned softly, "Come here to me."

Jim turned over blindly, seeking the lap that was waiting and curling up with

little sighs and grunts. His senses wouldn't really settle for a while now, and

if Blair were to avoid a zone that would undo all the benefits of the sex they'd

just had he would have to sit guard tonight. That was a labor of love that Blair

delighted over, no matter how remorseful Jim got over his Guide's loss of sleep.

His hands went to Jim's hair, stroking and smoothing lightly while Jim's arms

wound around his waist and thighs. He smiled when the Sentinel cuddled in and

nuzzled the muscled flesh - reassuring him, perhaps, that his Guide was close

and safe.

The afterglow was calling, and Blair tipped his head back to relax a little,

enjoying the intimacy and letting his mind drift even as his hands continued

their petting. In the streets outside the city hummed to its night rhythm, the

occasional siren punctuating the tapestry of sound. Stars could be seen through

the skylight and Blair regarded them drowsily, picking out familiar patterns and

making up a few as well.

Jim was a warm, inert weight against him and Blair looked down at his lover,

tracing the familiar contours of bone and muscle. He couldn't see the other

man's face, though his breath teased Blair's thighs with soothing regularity. It

took a lot for Jim to trust him enough to relax into their lovemaking this way. Blair had worked hard to engage all his senses and was rewarded by complete and

utter faith.

They had learned a lot about each other since becoming lovers. Jim had

discovered a few fantasies he hadn't known about. He'd also discovered that

Blair was surprisingly knowledgeable when it came to potential mood killers.

Given the former Ranger's past Blair refused to restrain his Beloved with

anything except his hands and Jim had to acknowledge the sense in that - the

last thing they needed was to trigger a flashback.

It had been difficult for both men at first to conceal their new status from

their work mates. Terrified that his Beloved would become the victim of

homophobic cops Blair had pleaded hard against coming out at work, and

eventually Jim had reluctantly agreed. Unfortunately, Jim had become obsessed

about not touching his husband in public - convinced that he'd give something

away by doing so. Blair had also argued against being excluded from Jim's

personal space, but Simon had clinched it, pulling Jim aside and urging the

detective to make up whatever argument the two men had had, and get back to

normal.

Some hard thought had revealed to Jim just how much he touched his Guide before

they'd become lovers and he'd managed to return to some level of public

intimacy. Blair had been aware of how difficult this was for Jim and had said

nothing, merely returning the touches and grinning conspiratorially at his

partner. Jim had been too happy to have their daily 'rations' of touch restored

to care too much about the whys and hows of it all.

In the field they were tighter than ever. The physical intimacy they now shared

had boosted their ability to predict and anticipate each other's moves and

intentions. Simon had complained more than once that having a conversation with

the two of them was like talking to a demented ventriloquist - they finished

each others sentences and had little side conversations with each other at the

same time. The rest of the bullpen treated the phenomenon as further proof of

the much-deserved title of 'premier team' and left it at that. If anyone did

wonder about the status of their relationship at home they did it where neither

man could hear it - quite a feat in Jim's case.

Dawn tinged the sky above Blair's head and he sighed in contentment. Jim was a

relaxed bundle of muscle in his lap and the sense of righteousness this left

with Blair was powerful. His hands were still tracing random patterns over hair

and skin, pampering his Beloved and reassuring his internal Guide that his life

mate was secure and well.

0o0o0o0

Jim woke slowly. For a moment he couldn't recall where he was as his body told

him that he was warm, safe and well used. Sunlight was caressing his naked skin

and a much-loved scent had woven itself around him like a net. Then the

hairiness of the thighs under his cheek tickled him and the hands that caressed

him with such tender care reminded him where he was. Blair's lap was warm, and

his hands spoke so loudly of their love that for a moment all Jim could do was

bask in a kind of astonished delight. He had once confided to his husband that

he felt Blair would be better off with a younger, more intelligent model - and

then walked funny for the rest of the weekend when Blair's response to that had

been marathon sex.

Taking a deep breath, Jim kissed the skin closest to him and smiled, letting his

lips curl against the warm flesh. The hands deepened their contact for a moment,

but Blair didn't say anything to him, letting him drowse a moment longer before

disturbing their peace with words. Jim stirred his body lazily, stretching his

legs and back before curling back into the warm spot on the sheets. By rights he

should have stiffened up after lying in one position all night, but he rarely

did after this kind of sex - Blair's touch was better than any massage.

Before either man could say anything, or Jim could follow the plan that was

forming in his mind, the phone rang - it's strident tones jarring them back to

the real world. Blair sighed, leaned over and kissed Jim lightly.

"I love you," the Guide smiled and then wriggled out of his Sentinel's arms

neatly, running naked down the stairs to silence the offending instrument. Jim

followed a little more slowly, stretching again in contentment as he paused on

the stairs to admire the trim, taut body.

"Sandburg," the voice was clear and light - announcing that the owner had been

awake, "No, Simon, he's awake too. Just a minute."

Jim took the phone with a sigh and cleared his throat.

"Good morning Simon," he said, his hearing picking up the sounds of sirens and

voices yelling. Blair was already headed back up the stairs - probably to dress.

Banishing his regrets that all of that beautiful skin was about to be hidden,

Jim paid attention to the phone again.

"Jim, we have a situation here," his boss sounded stressed, "A bunch of armed

men have stormed the 15th Precinct and barricaded themselves in the holding

cells."

"Jesus - who did they arrest last night?" Jim leapt to conclusions, "Is anyone

hurt?"

"We've got men down - and one dead," Simon's voice was leaden, "All the other

Precincts are on full alert and Central has been assigned as backup for the

15th. You and Sandburg need to get down here - I'd feel a lot better if you were

here."

Blair returned with a set of clothes for Jim, which he deposited on the table

and started dressing his partner, starting with the boxers and socks.

"Where do you want us?" Jim acknowledged, lifting his feet as directed. Another

voice sounded near Simon and the phone was muffled for a moment. Jim took the

opportunity to snatch a kiss from Blair and pull the T-shirt over his head.

"Come to the Command post," Simon's voice returned, "I'll tell you more when you

get here. Make sure you and Sandburg both wear the PD's windbreakers and have

your badges visible. Full vests, too. I don't want any mistakes here, tempers

are high enough as it is."

"Got it," Jim nodded and they hung up, "Wear your badge out Chief, and grab the

windbreakers from the closet. It's bad."

Jim put on and tied his boots while Blair hurried into the small room that had

once been his. He emerged wearing the uniform jacket and tying his hair back,

Jim's jacket tied hurriedly around his waist so he could have both hands free.

The badge - ordered especially by the Chief's office for the civilian consultant

- dangled on a chain around his neck. His partner nodded in approval and untied

the jacket from his waist. Jim leant in and stole a kiss.

"I love you too," he smiled at the shorter man, "Let's go. And be careful, Chief

- this isn't gonna be pretty."

0o0o0o0

Simon was waiting for them, with Rafe and Brown nearby. Everyone was wearing

vests and caps that announced who they belonged to, as well as the PD

windbreakers. No one wanted to take the chance that friendly fire would hit

them. Jim had supervised the donning of Blair's vest, though Blair had been just

as vigilant over his partner.

"Hey, Hairboy. Maybe you should sit this one out," Henri Brown said softly, "No

one wants to see you get hurt again."

"I'll stay out of the live action," Blair had already promised this is in the

truck, "I'm a part of the team, H. I don't pick and choose my assignments."

"I appreciate that, babe," Henri nodded, "It's not gonna be pretty. Word is a

few of the guys in the 15th busted a gang for drugs - and their comrades want

them released. They're accusing the arresting officers of planting the evidence

and brutality during the arrest."

"Which gang is it?" Blair asked, looking over at the sprawled red brick building

that housed the 15th Precinct.

"The Chrysanthemum's," Henri shook his head, and Blair exclaimed in surprise.

The 'Mums were one of the few gangs that stayed clear of drugs. In fact any

member found using or even in possession of illicit substances was kicked out of

the gang immediately. Despite this rather strange stance, the Chrysanthemum's

were not a soft gang. They had no trouble with violent crimes, robbery being a

specialty.

"They're not into drugs! What's going on?" Blair looked over at his partner, who

was conferring with Simon and the SWAT team leader about possible breaches. There were a number of cops still trapped inside the building - when it had gone into lockdown several departments had barricaded themselves in and called for

backup. There were also a few civilians inside - something that was no doubt

weighing heavily on the Chief's mind as he struggled to keep the media feeding

frenzy under control.

"Who knows? This is gonna be dogging our heels for months babe, so watch your

back ok?" Henri warned and Blair nodded acknowledgement. Brian Rafe appeared

beside them, looking over at Jim and Simon in concern and then down at their

favorite 'mascot'.

"You wearing your vest, Prof.?" Rafe asked quietly and Blair nodded. Once he

would have rolled his eyes and complained about them being overprotective and

mother hen's to boot. Now he knew that it was one of the ways they relieved

their stress - when going into a dangerous situation sometimes it was good to

fuss over a colleagues safety first. Let them get into the right frame of mind.

"Clean underwear too," he confirmed in a light tone, a standard response. They

knew he saw through their motives - and were all too glad to let him tease them

about it. Rafe snorted now while his partner rolled his eyes and cuffed the

curly haired man's shoulder lightly. Jim joined them beside the wall where they

were sheltering from a nasty cool wind and line-of-sight.

"Hey, Jim. What's the word?" Henri grinned up at the tall detective. Jim's grim

expression lightened for a moment in that look he got when meeting his

colleagues from work for the first time in a day. Blair wasn't sure if Jim knew

he was doing it, but he'd observed the positive way that their colleagues

reacted to that gentle 'glad to see you' look.

"We need intelligence," Jim sighed.

"Hey don't look at me - I'm all tapped out," Rafe held up his hands and grinned

a little, "My brain doesn't come on line until nine at the earliest."

"That's nine p.m., right partner?" Henri grinned too and Blair chuckled, shaking

his head at them. Both men were college graduates - most of the people in Major

Crimes were.

"Good thing Sandburg's here," Rafe ignored his partner with the ease of long

practice, "He is a Ph.D. and all."

"Yup," Jim glommed his chuckling Guide and headed for a vantage point he'd

spotted earlier, snagging the surveillance kit that Simon had put together after

their discussion. There was even a parabolic mike in there, with a tape recorder

back up that they could 'jam' if they had to - sometimes the mikes just couldn't

pick up what Jim could. The pair mostly used Jim's senses to do the real

observing - the kit was just there to cover his back in court. Simon and Blair

had come up with the idea not long after Blair got his doctorate - and then the

young man had apologized to Jim for not thinking of it sooner. The kit would be

seen as a violation of rights without a warrant in everyday situations, but came

handy in an emergency.

The two men made their way onto the roof of a nearby store - one of the older

buildings that was built with a low wall running around it. It was the same

height as the PD building and allowed Jim to confirm that the roof of the PD was

free of snipers. Apart from the maintenance hatches up there to allow access to

the cooling towers and ventilation system the roof was void of clutter. Simon

and the SWAT people were trying to work out the logistics of getting an armed

party onto the roof and into the building.

Settling so they were out of the line of fire and still in a plausible spot for

the mike to catch snatches of the conversation inside the building, Blair put

out a hand to ground his Sentinel and started to talk.

"Ok, Jim, I want you to focus your hearing first. We're going into a difficult

situation here - there's going to be no warning if they start raising the noise

level. I want you to focus nice and tight on your hearing - put a box around

everything but that sense so if it spikes the box will protect your other

senses. Let your hearing just brush past the walls and into the building. Hear

what's going on without listening to it. Find the noisier places where the most

voices are and tune into what they're saying."

Jim's head dipped to the side in the classic 'listening' pose he had developed

unconsciously and tuned in on the yelling gang members as they tried to find

another way out of the building.

0o0o0o0

Chapter Two - In which it hits the fan and then the boys.

"Chief - will that thing really jam, or can we actually get it to work?" Jim

asked suddenly, turning to look down at their tape recorder.

"It should work," Blair frowned, "I'm supposed to jam it manually."

Anticipating what Jim wanted, the consultant was setting the gear up as he

spoke, slipping a fresh tape in and starting the machine before handing it over

to Jim and donning the earphones. Now that they wanted it to work, Jim would

actually direct the mike while Blair confirmed that he could hear what was being

recorded. It saved Jim getting a weird echo effect that usually gave him a

headache.

After a few moments of hissing and random feedback, Blair nodded sharply and

settled in to ground Jim with random strokes on his back while both men listened

to the two cops arguing over whose fault it was for planting the drugs so

sloppily. It made Blair sick to think that one man had already died as a result

of this foolishness. Beside him, Jim was a furious presence. The detective

valued truth and loyalty above all else.

"Jim," Blair murmured softly, "Can we identify them?"

Jim nodded and then turned his hearing back to the gangs, muting the mike for a

second. The two men had fallen quiet anyway when a noise nearby had alerted them

to company.

"Uh oh, they found the sewer access in the basement. We'll have to cover the

exits and tunnels," Jim warned his partner. Neither man had thought about what

they would do with the tape when this mess was over - though they'd be sure to

tell Simon about it at the very least.

"Can we get that on the mike too?" Blair asked quickly and Jim shook his head. Blair fished for his cell phone and called Simon. The two bent cops had relaxed

their watch and gone back to laying the blame, so Jim was recording again too.

Blair moved back a little to avoid messing up the tape with his voice or phone

signal.

"It's me," he identified himself, "Are the sewers covered? They can get out that

way through a basement access. It's in their area - Jim remembered it from the

post Kincaide briefings. Uh, we can't right now - we've got a little situation

here. No we don't need backup. Thanks Simon."

He hung up and looked over at his husband, worry clearly showing in his eyes.

"Simon's going to report your 'hunch' and get the exits covered," he told the

taller man, "Jim, what are we going to do?"

"We can't sit on this Chief. Their stupidity cost lives. Not to mention

violating those gang member's rights. No Judge would convict them now. We'll put

the tape in Simon's hands and follow it through. It won't be easy, buddy - no

one likes a snitch."

"No one likes a crooked cop either," Blair sighed, "It's got to be done Jim."

Neither man acknowledged the loving caress the other gave him, in order not to

cloud the issue by declaring their love where the mike might pick it up. The two

way in Jim's pocket came alive as the cops corralled and subdued the fleeing

gang members. Jim turned the volume down so it wouldn't swamp the tape and

finished recording the conversation, sick to his stomach as he did.

The idea that his fellow cops could be so stupid as to plant drugs on a member

of a gang that was known for abhorring drugs was eating at him. The 15th

Precinct was a rough area and the cops here had to deal with a high volume of

calls each day, but that was no excuse.

A chill ran down Jim's back as a second though occurred to him. Perhaps these

two men were merely trying to take out a potential rival. It wouldn't be the

first time someone decided to sell what they were supposed to be fighting

against. Jim glanced at his husband and decided not to mention that idea yet. It

was best that Blair be as innocent as possible here - perhaps that would take

some of the coming heat off.

0o0o0o0

Simon listened to the tape grimly and scowled up at his best partnership. They

were supposed to be catching criminals, dammit, not other cops. Jim Ellison's

face was grim too and Blair's usual energy was muted.

"Damn," Simon sighed at the end of it, "You two never go the easy route, do

you?"

"It's in our contract," the weak joke didn't bring a smile from anyone - Blair's

voice was too bleak for that. There was a moment of silence and then Simon

nodded. He reached for his phone and called Internal Affairs, requesting an

appointment for himself and Detective Ellison. By unspoken agreement, Blair was

left out of it - both men wanting to protect their civilian colleague. Blair's

frown told them he wasn't happy with that, but he let them go alone, wandering

out of Simon's office to get started on the inevitable pile of paperwork on his

and Jim's desk.

"Hey Hairboy," Brown wandered past, "You seen the Captain?"

"Yeah, he had a meeting to go to. He'll be a while," Blair looked up. Brown

paused beside his friend's desk and looked the curly haired man over.

"You ok?" Brown frowned, "You look like someone backed over your dog."

"Someone kind of did," Blair sighed, "I can't discuss it, H. Not right at the

moment. You'll probably hear all about it sooner or later."

"Sounds bad, kid. You need someone to watch your back, let me know. I'll send

Rafe," Brown grinned at his friend's incredulous groan and headed over to his

own partner. He dapper detective was scowling at his monitor and muttering under

his breath.

"Heads up, babe," H murmured as he sat down, "Ellison and Sandburg are in it

again."

Rafe looked over at his partner and then at the bullpen in general. He nodded

once and went back to trying to retrieve the file he'd just lost.

0o0o0o0

Jim sighed and rolled his shoulders under the talented hands. He was all but

purring and Blair hid a smile, loving the playful antics of his mate. He let the

massage stray a little lower, shifting back down along Jim's naked body, leaning

forward to kiss the warm skin. He was rewarded with a little moan and wriggle

from the sensual man.

The meeting with Internal Affairs had been unpleasant to say the least. Both Jim

and Simon had been thoroughly interrogated - almost as if they were the

criminals, not the men on the tape. A mountain of paperwork and a second

interrogation by another member of IA had followed this. By then both men had

been thoroughly fed up with it all and their answers had been short, sharp and

to the point.

Meanwhile, the PD rumor mill had been working it's usual magic and Blair had

heard some rumblings about their time on the roof - enough for him to know that

the men in the 15th Precinct would probably be covering their asses and soon. He'd called Jim on the cell and the Sentinel had gone ballistic. Worried that

his partner would be vulnerable - after all, their quarry were cops and had

total access to the bullpen - Jim had ordered Blair home.

The consultant had not gone. He refused point blank to run as if he'd done

something wrong and hung up on his enraged partner. The Detective gave IA short

shrift and headed back to the bullpen, followed closely by Simon. Blair had

already set up a duplicate file of their findings and inserted a copy of the

tape that he'd made while they were playing it for Simon. The file went to H, to

be locked in the safe at his house. Major Crimes had learned not to rely on

anyone outside the department - all too often their cases were politically

sensitive or of interest to the Feds, whose penchant for cover-ups was well

known.

They had fought over Blair's refusal to go home in the truck - neither man was

afraid to express their opinion and becoming lovers hadn't changed that. If

anything they had become more open with each other. In the end Blair agreed that

he should have at least taken some extra precautions and Jim acknowledged that

running away like a guilty man would undermine Blair's place in the PD. By the

time they got home Jim was one big walking knot of tension - hence the massage

after dinner.

Blair finished with Jim's calves and traveled lightly up the other man's body,

kissing as he did. A kiss to his buttocks had Jim making a sleepy little sound

that went right to his husband's heart. Blair dropped a second kiss there then

traveled up Jim's spine. He dropped a final kiss on Jim's temple and watched his

Beloved slip into sleep. When he was sure Jim would stay asleep, Blair covered

the man and padded downstairs to set up his laptop. His career with the PD had

not interfered with his article writing and Blair had a deadline to meet.

0o0o0o0

Jim looked around the rooftop and frowned. Blair's hand was lodged in the small

of his back and his senses were working full time as he swept the area.

"Anything?" Blair whispered, a little nervous at being too close to the edge.

Jim was nervous too - fine tension tightened the muscles under Blair's hand.

"Nothing. What the hell is Block doing?" Jim mumbled. Block was a usually

reliable snitch. Jim didn't deal with him often as the man moved on the fringe

of things in downtown Cascade. He'd contacted Jim with a request to meet, and

Jim had agreed - hence their visit to the windy rooftop. They were only three

stories up, but that was enough to tweak Blair's fear of heights a little. This

late in the afternoon, traffic was loud and the sun was at a bad angle,

rendering the Sentinel's fine sight down to normal levels.

"I don't like this," Jim shifted uneasily, "Let's go Chief. Block can set up a

second meeting if it's so urgent, one on the ground."

Blair nodded and walked with Jim back to the fire escape they'd climbed to get

to the roof. Jim sent his lover first, knowing that Blair would be better once

he was on the ground. His partner was not fooled: the man grinned and made some

stupid comment about Jim just wanting a soft mattress to land on if he slipped

when the first bullet caught him in the lower leg. Jim felt a searing pain in

his arm as he lunged for and missed the flailing hand of his husband. Blair's

terrified scream deafened Jim as the smaller man went over the edge of the fire

escape. Jim hit the rooftop among a spray of bullets and pulled himself into

shelter. He yanked his gun and phone, scanning frantically for the shooter and

hitting the number for Simon at the same time. His hearing refused to locate

Blair's precious heartbeat and his sight zoomed in and out, effectively blinding

him. Unable to function, Jim began to hyperventilate as the phone rang and rang.

"Banks!" the over loud gruff bark was never more welcome to Jim's sensitive ear.

"Simon! Oh God, Simon they shot him and he fell! He fell off the fucking

building!"

"Jim? Who's been shot? Where are you?" Simon's voice slapped a bit of sense into

him and Jim gulped for air.

"Meeting with Block - they shot Blair. He went over the edge of the roof and I

can't find him - I can't hear him, oh God Simon, he's dead, he can't be."

"Brown! Rafe! Look on Sandburg's desk for a notation about a snitch called Block

- they're in trouble and Jim's lost it! Shots fired!" Simon roared, making Jim

flinch away from the volume. He flinched back into cover when whoever it was

took another shot at him.

"This guy sucks," Jim giggled, "He keeps missing. Maybe I should just stand up

and tell him not to bother. With Blair gone I'm dead anyway."

"You will do no such thing Ellison! You hear me? Keep your fucking head down

until I get there! That's an order!" the harsh words cut the giggles off sharply

and Jim sobbed instead. Hot and cold flashes raced along his skin and somewhere

nearby something started whining at an uncomfortably high pitch.

"They killed my Blair!" he wailed, his head swimming dizzily, "They killed my

heart!"

"Jim, I'm coming to get you. Stay exactly where you are and don't move," Simon's

voice cut through the despair like a knife, "Were you hit as well? Jim? Were you

hit?"

"I don't..." Jim sniffled, "I don't want to live alone again. I can't, Simon.

I'm so tired of being by myself. So tired..."

The phone fell to the rooftop with a clatter as Jim passed out from blood loss.

0o0o0o0

Chapter Three - In which things hit rock bottom.

The waiting room was full. Brown and Rafe were camped out by the window, sitting

side by side and not talking much. Taggert was leaning against the wall, a cup

of cold coffee in his hand as he watched Simon pace back and forth on the ugly

linoleum. Various men and women from the uniformed branch of the service who had

responded to the 'officers down' call were parked in chairs around the room,

speaking to each other in low voices.

No one would forget the scene they came upon. The shooter was long gone,

although there were enough slugs around Jim Ellison's unconscious body as

evidence. That had not been found first though. Their first sight had been Blair

Sandburg, hanging upside down from the final landing of the fire escape, one leg

tangled in the metal framework, halting his headlong fall, the other bleeding

from the gunshot wound. His hands were dangling limply above his head and he was

bone white. At first they had believed him dead, but a touch to those cold hands

had elicited a moan of pain and the emergency service workers had leapt into

action to stabilize the young man. They still didn't know the full extent of his

injuries - visions of paralysis were dancing in Simon's head.

Unable to use the external fire escape to get to the silent Jim, Simon had

broken a window in the warehouse and climbed up to the second floor before going

out onto the fire escape again and racing for the roof. Jim's upper arm was

bleeding heavily where the bullet had gone straight through it. The man was in

shock and deeply unconscious. The paramedics that had followed Simon moved

quickly to stop the bleeding and warm their patient. Simon scouted for access

back inside the building so they could carry Jim down that way.

There was a stir in the room as a doctor appeared and Simon braced himself for

news. He hurried forward as the doctor called his name, Joel a comforting

presence at his side.

"How are my men?" Simon's voice was tense and the doctor knew better than to

start with the usual platitudes.

"Mr. Sandburg is still in surgery - I have no news of his progress or the extent

of his injuries. Detective Ellison is conscious again and still in shock. He

refuses to be admitted. The wound to his arm is not serious - the bullet passed

through cleanly - and the blood loss has been remedied with a transfusion. He's

very distraught, however, and if you can persuade him to stay overnight..."

"I'll try, doc, but Jim's not likely to go for it. Sandburg's the only one who

can get through to him in this state," Simon sighed. The doctor hesitated and

then spoke again.

"Unfortunately that's the problem. It seems that Detective Ellison believes his

lover is dead and I am unable to convince him otherwise," the doctor's voice

carried clearly to the waiting cops and Simon bit down on a curse. He knew that

the two men were together, though unofficially, the rest of the PD did not. He

heard his colleagues react to the doctor's indiscretion and glared at the man.

The doctor led the way in silence.

0o0o0o0

Simon didn't need directions to find Jim, the plaintive voice calling for Blair

would have led him straight to his friend. Jim's face lit up with hope when

Simon entered, then crumbled in denial. He was pale, and the blanket they'd

draped over his legs was twisted and tangled, trapping him in the bed better

than any restraints could.

"No Simon," Jim moaned, "Please, no. Don't."

Simon had spent enough time with the Sentinel and Guide to know that Jim was

lost in his senses. The man's control was nonexistent in reaction to the shock

and whatever drugs the doctors had given him. Without his Guide to tame the

raging confusion Jim was at the mercy of his environment. Add to that the stress

of believing his Guide to be dead, and there was no way for the Sentinel to gain

control on his own. Simon knew that Blair used his body heat and personal scent

in situations like this to give his partner a stable base to latch on to. The

Captain hoped that he'd spent enough time with his friends for what he was about

to try to work.

"Shh, Jim," Simon leaned over and gathered his friend up. He pulled the large

man upright with a grunt and settled the Sentinel's head on his shoulder,

holding the cold, shaking body to his chest. Making sure the IV line wasn't

tangled and the wounded arm was comfortable, Simon rocked a little, trying to

lend his warmth and strength to the shattered man on the bed.

"Blair," Jim wept, "I want my husband."

"Shh," Simon repeated, "It's ok. He's in surgery, the doctors are looking after

him now. Be strong, Jim. It's ok."

The sobs died away slowly and Simon kept his grip on his detective. They'd lose

Jim if his husband died, either to his own weapon or the man would simply fail

to wake up one day. Simon was determined not to bury either man, and was praying

hard for that outcome.

The doctor entered and checked his patient as best he could while the man was

snuggled up to Simon's chest. Pleased that the injured man had settled down he

made a few notes and then looked over at Simon.

"We have a bed ready for him upstairs," the doctor announced. Jim stiffened

immediately and Simon patted his back in a soothing fashion. Thankfully his

detective was warming up and calming down - Blair must have managed to install

Simon as a 'substitute Guide' for Jim at some point.

"Not staying. Must be here for Blair," Jim growled, "Simon? Don't make me stay."

"Jim, he's not coming back to the ER," Simon reasoned, "Once he's out of surgery

they'll be putting him in his own room. He'll probably sleep until tomorrow -

he'll need you then. If you go to bed now, you'll be fit for him in the morning.

I'll stay with you until he's ready, ok?"

"He needs me," Jim insisted stubbornly. Simon sighed and squeezed Jim lightly. There was a small relaxing of the tense muscles and Jim leaned in again, letting

instinct guide him.

"Yes, he does. He needs you at your best. Get some rest, Jim. They'll let you

sleep here and you can go in the morning. I promise."

Jim nodded reluctantly and the doctor went to organize the move upstairs. Joel

stuck his head around the curtain and Simon explained what was going on. It

looked as if Jim wouldn't be letting go any time soon, so Joel agreed to send

everyone else home and then come up to Jim's room. It took a few minutes to get

Jim to lie down again and let them wheel him out of the cubicle.

Simon held his detective's hand all the way to the room and into bed. Jim went

to sleep not long after, and Simon looked up wearily when the door opened. Joel

entered, followed by Rafe and Brown. The three men had brought extra chairs and

settled into them quietly. The message was clear - Jim and Blair's new status

made no difference to their real friends.

Once Jim relaxed enough to let go of his boss, Joel produced a pack of cards and

the four men played poker quietly. Nurses entered every four hours to do their

thing and Simon went out after a while to get an update on Sandburg. He was

still alive, and out of surgery. The damage to his legs was serious, though

incredibly he'd suffered no obvious spinal damage. They now had to wait for him

to wake up to find out how bad things were.

Jim woke at about eight, sitting upright with a gasp and looking around wildly.

He'd regained some color and his face was coherent.

"Easy Jim," Simon frowned, "You'll open the stitches on your arm."

"How's Blair?" Jim demanded, hitting the button for the nurse.

"He came out of surgery fine. He's still sedated and in the orthopedics ward. I

went and saw him an hour ago myself - he's ok," Simon replied firmly, "Now lie

down. Let us get the doctor to have a look at you so you can be discharged."

"You guys stayed all night? Who's watching Blair?" Jim settled back onto the bed

obediently. The nurse had come and gone - on her way to fetch the doctor.

"Crawford and Thompson," Rafe replied, "And there's a uniform outside the door.

We've got him covered."

"Babe," Brown met his partner's eye for a moment, "There's something you should

know. You were pretty out of it when you woke up and you told the doctors about

your relationship with Blair. One of them kind of let it slip in the waiting

room."

"We've been outed?" Jim paled, "Oh god. Blair's gonna kill me."

This was not the reaction the men from Major Crimes were expecting and they

looked their confusion at Jim.

"I wanted to come out straight away," Jim explained, "But Blair was worried it

would put me in danger. I guess he's heard too many stories about backup going

missing. I didn't want to lie to you guys about it. I'm not ashamed. Neither is

Blair."

"Jim, you only have to look at the two of you to see you are together," Brown

grinned, "I guess now it's kind of official."

"I can understand Blair's reluctance, though," Joel said quietly, "He worries

about you Jim."

"It's mutual," Jim sighed, and turned to talk to his doctor.

0o0o0o0

Blair's doctor was a petite brunette with hazel eyes and an attitude that made

her seem a lot taller. Dr Belle was pleased to meet Jim and more than willing to

sit down and explain the extent of his husband's injuries. Dressed in the

clothes that Simon had gone to the loft for, Jim was back on balance and more

controlled.

"On the whole, he's been incredibly lucky. He apparently hit the fire escape a

couple of times on the way down - there's some severe bruising on his abdomen

and back, but he'll recover from that. The internal damage wasn't severe either

- more as a result of the bruising and didn't require surgical intervention.

We're also not too worried about the gunshot wound," Belle told him, "That went

straight through cleanly, and though it's painful it will heal just fine. It's

his right leg that has us concerned. He broke his ankle when he hit the fire

escape the first time, and then dislocated his knee when he got entangled the

second time. He was hanging from that knee when the medics got there, so the

joint was out of place and under stress for a long time. There is some tearing

in the ligaments and tendons, and some nerve damage as well. He may be able to

recover enough mobility in that leg to walk without assistance. That's the worst

case scenario. Best case: he'll recover enough to live his normal active

lifestyle, provided he takes a few daily precautions. However, I'm afraid his

days with the PD are over - he'll never recover enough to meet the physical

requirements of the field."

"Oh God," Jim sighed, and hung his head. If his Guide couldn't come into the

field with him then his days in the PD were also over. He didn't want to work

without his soul mate. He wouldn't risk others in the field with unstable

senses. He was never leaving his heart behind again.

"What do we have to do, and when can I see him?" Jim squared his shoulders.

"Right now, all we can do is let him wake properly from the surgery and reassure

him that he'll be ok. He was able to move the toes in his left foot on request

when he woke in recovery - but he was too groggy to focus on the right. We'll

have to test that later. Once he's had a chance to heal a little we'll start

therapy and determine what he'll need. It will be very rough on him, Detective.

You'll need to keep his spirits up and also keep him in line - I have no doubt

that his will to live will translate to some very stubborn behavior when the

drugs wear off and he's hurting. You'll also need to watch for depression. I

realize this might not be something you would normally associate with Mr.

Sandburg, but a loss of mobility, however small, can have serious side effects

on a person's mental state."

"I understand," Jim nodded, thinking how hard enforced idleness was on his

energetic lover, "Can I see him?"

"Of course," Belle smiled. She led the way from the small room used to interview

patient's families and down the hall to his husband's room. It was a private

room, and Jim nodded to the uniformed cop standing outside it. Blair's doctor

hadn't questioned the need for his presence and Jim was grateful. He didn't want

to think about whoever had set them up now.

Crawford and Thompson slipped out without being noticed as all of Jim's senses

glommed onto his pale Guide. The scent of pain lingered in the air, fouling

Blair's own beautiful scent. His love was breathing easily, though an oxygen

canula was hooked beneath his nose. IV's ran into the back of one hand and a

catheter snaked from between his legs. The left was heavily bandaged and

slightly elevated on a pillow. The right was in traction. Jim didn't notice as

the doctor left discreetly, closing the door behind her.

Jim fondled the limp curls on the pillow, tears running down his face. Blair

looked so small and defenseless in the bed. His face was lax and he was

unnaturally still - even in sleep he showed some animation. Leaning over, Jim

pressed a tender kiss to his husband's dry lips and then sat down, resting a

hand over his Guide's heart. Settling comfortably, Jim started stroking over and

around the precious heart.

"Oh, Chief," Jim whispered, "You sure scared the hell out of me. It's going to

be ok, though, we're alive and you're gonna be just fine my love. Just promise

me you'll never fall off a building again, ok? My heart can't take it. God,

Chief, I thought you were dead. Simon had to hug me - I was going nuts. It's ok,

though, you're alive and that's all I care about. Nothing else matters."

"Mmph," Blair grunted and Jim wiped the tears away quickly, not wanting his

husband to see him upset.

"Sweetheart?" Jim begged, "Open your eyes?"

Blair sighed and his eyes blinked open for a moment before closing firmly again.

"No, lover, wake up. Please, Chief, open your eyes for me," Jim leaned over,

kissing the eyes in question and then his husband's cheeks and lips. Deep blue

eyes struggled to open and gazed at him blearily. Blair's lips moved beneath his

and Jim kissed them again before leaning back and caressing Blair's face.

"Hey there," Jim smiled, "You with me?"

Blair nodded and swallowed, drawing a deeper breath and wincing as his bruised

body protested. He shifted in response and moaned when new pains made themselves

known. The small sound went straight to Jim's heart.

"Stay still my love, you got pretty banged up," he clasped Blair's face in both

hands, "Just focus on your breathing to control the pain. I'm here with you -

you're safe. I love you Blair, with all my heart and soul."

"Love you," the whisper would have been inaudible to anyone else, but the

Sentinel heard it clearly. Jim's smile lit his whole face and he leaned in for

another kiss, licking Blair's lips to wet them and nibbling tenderly against

them. Blair sighed and smiled before giving in to the pull of sleep, turning his

face to nuzzle into Jim's hand. The gesture tugged at his Sentinel's heart and

Jim sat down again, tears once more tracking down his face.

0o0o0o0

Chapter Four - In which true colours are displayed.

Simon Banks was not a happy man. His best team was in hospital, one of them

likely to be disqualified from fieldwork for life. They'd been outed as a couple

by a careless doctor and then gossiped about by half their colleagues. To top it

all off, the Chief and the Commissioner were breathing down his neck, the media

was in frenzy and IA was dragging its feet.

In the bullpen, Brown and Rafe had already gone toe to toe with three uniformed

cops and one of their own over Jim's status as a gay man. Simon had had to break

the argument up, afraid that Rafe was going to deck the man he was yelling at,

and knowing that Brown definitely was about to get physical. Oddly enough, most

people thought that Jim was forcing himself on Blair in an attempt to control

the younger man. It was as if Blair was some innocent being corrupted by the

former Army Ranger.

Taggert had also bawled out a few people this morning. The tension was really

getting to the older man and Simon knew why. He just hoped Taggert could keep a

lid on it all - the last thing they needed was to have the Captain of the Bomb

Squad suspended for assault. Everyone who could get away with it avoided Simon

himself - popular belief being that he had known about the situation. Rafe and

Brown, of course, knew that he had, but didn't care. The detectives had figured

out the status of Jim and Blair's relationship long ago and discussed it between

them. Neither man had seen any reason to treat the couple differently - deciding

that what the two men did in the privacy of their own bedroom was their

business. Jim would never endanger anyone in order to give Blair special

treatment, and Sandburg was the same as always.

The press had been camped outside the Central Precinct that morning when Simon

arrived for work. He'd gone up the back stairs of the garage to avoid them and

then taken the freight elevator to Major Crimes. A call to the front desk had

confirmed that the press was there about the shooting of two of the PD's

'leading gay cops' and the fact that the desk sergeant thoroughly disapproved of

Ellison and Sandburg's lifestyle. Simon had managed to locate some open-minded

people and sent them to the hospital to guard Blair's room.

The Chief had rung - he was under siege as well, something Simon was grateful

for - and given Simon a dressing down for allowing a couple to work together. The Commissioner had done the same, with additional threats of an IA

investigation added to sweeten the deal. Simon had shrugged it off, he'd been

covering for the two men for so long that it just didn't matter any more.

Then forensics had called. Cassie Welles had for once done her job and only her

job, and gotten a preliminary result for Simon on the slugs they'd dug out of

the fire escape and Blair. The gun involved was a semi automatic, and had

nothing distinguishing about the caliber, make or model. She'd also told Simon

that IA weren't too interested in her results and warned the Captain that she

felt the investigation was being taken less than seriously. That little tidbit

of information had turned Simon's already bad mood positively foul and he'd

called IA to find out who was in charge of the shooting.

It turned out that no one was yet investigating the crime - but someone would be

assigned eventually. Simon had an ugly feeling that the tape of crooked cops

from the 15th Precinct was about to be axed as well and had called Rafe and

Brown in, assigning them to work the shooting and to locate Ellison's informant.

Rhonda did that three minutes later when Dan Wolfe sent a message up that the

man was lying in the morgue. Block had a distinctive tattoo that Blair had once

described to the pathologist while they were at a scene and Dan had remembered

the conversation. It looked like Jim's informant had been set up after he set

Jim up. No one could find it in their hearts to be more than annoyed as another

possible lead dried up. The irony didn't escape Simon that this was the sort of

case his best team could have handled for him.

The end of the day saw Rafe, Brown and Taggert in Simon's office, reporting a

lack of solid leads and a frustrating lack of co-operation from their

colleagues.

"It's really split the whole PD, man," Brown shook his head in frustration,

"Half are them are upset about the whole gay thing, and half again feel that

Sandburg is being manipulated by Jim in some weird abusive relationship. The

other half either don't give a shit about it or approve. It's totally weird out

there."

"The problem is that this whole thing is probably connected to the crooked cops

that Jim and Blair caught," Joel sighed, "I have a friend of a friend in IA that

says they're starting to sweep the whole damn mess under the carpet. Technically

we can't use the tape in court because it's a violation of their civil rights,

so once that's gone there's no case. And the thought of releasing a bunch of

gang members because of an 'indiscretion'..."

"What?" Simon yelled and Joel nodded.

"That's what they called it, man," he sighed, "How can people be so stupid?"

"So they're gonna use the whole gay thing as a distraction to sweep a bigger

mess under the rug," Rafe curled his lip in disgust, "It's enough to make a man

wonder why he still does the job."

"Jim and I were talking about getting out - setting up our own business

somewhere else," Simon sighed heavily, "We'd had enough of the politics. We were

going to go somewhere warm with good fishing."

"Oh yeah - the Security firm," Joel laughed, "And I say to you now what I said

to you then - you'd miss it all so much you'd only last a week."

"Last year that was true," Simon met Joel's eyes, "Now I'm not so sure, Joel.

This thing is turning my stomach."

"Mine too, man, but we can't throw the towel in yet. They need us here, now."

"Well," Brown sighed, "If you're ever looking for a junior partner, I'm your

man."

"I can file and type," Rafe nodded and got up. His partner followed him from the

room, both men heading for the lift. They'd check on the hospital before going

home tonight - a short visit to reassure themselves their friends were ok.

0o0o0o0

Simon looked at the two sleeping men and sighed. Jim was clutching his lover's

hand in a tight grip that had to be cutting off the circulation in his fingers

to say the very least. Blair's breathing was slow and shallow, though there was

a little more color to his face that the last time Simon had seen the man. Simon

put a hand gently on Blair's forearm, needing to see that the man was real. The

nightmare vision of Blair hanging, broken and bleeding from the fire escape had

stayed with the Captain last night.

Blair's eyes opened and tracked to Simon's face slowly. Recognition lit them and

the patient smiled gently, probably unwilling to risk larger movement and cause

pain. Simon smiled too, and rubbed at the skin under his fingers lightly. For

some reason he'd never been able to figure out, the men and women of Major

Crimes liked to touch this man when he'd been hurt or sick - hell, even when he

was healthy the people under Simon's command seemed to touch him. Blair's smile

took on a soothed edge and he looked down at his still sleeping lover. Before

Simon could do more than raise his free hand in protest Blair sighed.

Jim's head came up at once, and the Sentinel grimaced when the muscles

protested.

"Blair?" he looked to his husband straight away, trying to determine why he was

awake and if he was in pain. Blair sighed again and Jim bristled immediately in

Simon's direction. Simon realized that what he was hearing as a sigh, were

actually words to the Sentinel. The protective stance Jim took - trying to

isolate Blair from the people who cared about him - was probably an instinctive

one, though it could also be a by-product of the two men's marriage. Simon's

theory about the sigh was proved when Blair sighed again and Jim stood down. He

grimaced in apology to Simon, who nodded in response.

"How you feeling, Sandburg?" Simon decided to act as if the consultant was his

normal self. Blair smiled and sighed and the Sentinel translated.

"The drugs are messing with him, but he doesn't want to feel the pain either.

Hence the whole Jacques Cousteau thing he's got going here," Jim grinned at his

lover, who rolled his eyes and looked back at Simon. This time the sigh was

longer, and the cop was frowning at the end. He tightened his grip on the other

man's hand even further and shook his head stubbornly. Blair's eyes opened fully

and he glared at his life mate.

"Whatever it is you're refusing to say or do, I'd give in, Jim," Simon sided

with the Guide, guessing he'd just asked Simon to take his Sentinel home for a

proper rest. Caught between two master class glares, Jim folded his arms

stubbornly and then caved.

"He wants me to go home and rest. I don't want to leave him defenseless," Jim

argued, "He can't call for help - hell, even I can barely hear him."

"Taggert has the day off - maybe he'd spend it here, and there's a man at the

door, Jim. I'm sure Blair will be fine. Before you start worrying Sandburg, we

still haven't caught the men who were shooting at you. Jim's under protection

too. We think it might be tied up to the thing with the 15th Precinct. Don't be

too concerned - you've got good people looking after you and Rafe and Brown and

I are on the case full time," Simon briefed his consultant quickly, realizing

that Jim had probably been concerned with other things when his lover woke.

Blair nodded a little and sighed, which made Jim grin and sigh too. Simon sighed

in exasperation and the two cops laughed at each other while Blair grinned.

"I'll go call Taggert," Simon let himself out of the room. A glance back before

he closed the door showed him Jim leaning over the prone man and caressing his

face. The loving expression Jim wore told Simon all he needed to know.

0o0o0o0

Jim leaned in and kissed his lover tenderly, using a light series of touches to

cover the man's mouth and chin. Blair returned the pressure, watching Jim

intensely as he did, trying to convey the love and concern he felt with that

look. Moving was agony at the moment and taking a deep breath to speak loud

enough to be heard was also painful. Blair had been shamelessly taking advantage

of his lover's Sentinel hearing in order to avoid the pain, and Jim had been all

too willing to be taken advantage of.

"I love you," Jim buried his face in Blair's hair on the pillow, "Please, Chief.

Don't make me leave."

"Jim," Blair nuzzled the distraught man's hair, "I need you to rest. I need you

to be ok. You aren't resting here - each time you wake up more exhausted. You're

not ok."

"I will be," Jim raised a begging face to his lover, "I'll be just fine, I

promise."

Blair gave him a tender smile and twitched his hand just enough to get Jim's

attention. Jim took it immediately, holding it tenderly in his own and rubbing a

thumb against Blair's skin.

"I love you. I'm not leaving you. I will sleep until you return. Taggert will be

here if I need anything," Blair's voice was the soothing cadence of the Guide

tones, and he watched in satisfaction as Jim drifted into a slight zone under

it's influence, as he had intended. A barely zoned Jim would be easier for Simon

to manage.

"It's time to go home, Jim. Get a shower, something to eat and then sleep. You

can come back after you wake. Let me dream of you in our bed, safe and rested

tonight," Blair's velvet voice caressed Jim when his hands were to weak to do

it, "Safe in our territory, recovering to go hunting, Jim. Promise me you'll do

that Beloved, promise me you'll take care of yourself."

"I promise," the words slipped from Jim's lips almost without his conscious

participation. Blair's smile lightened his face and he tugged with drug weakened

fingers. Jim leant in to nuzzle into the crook of Blair's neck obediently and

Blair began crooning soft words of love and comfort. The tension began to slowly

drain from Jim's shoulders as the voice wove it's magic.

The door to Blair's room opened and Simon looked in. Blair acknowledged him with

a glance and Simon nodded before backing out again. He'd come back when Taggert

arrived, giving the two lovers some much-needed time alone while they were both

fairly coherent. Simon knew how much effort it took for Blair to calm his

husband when he'd been hurt - the kid was usually wiped out by it.

One cup of bad coffee later Joel joined him by the door. Simon knocked lightly

before turning the handle, making Joel grin and duck his head. Jim was still

bent with his face in Blair's hair, as they watched Blair sighed and Jim

straightened obediently, kissing dry lips and turning slowly towards Simon. One

look at the glazed eyes told Simon all he needed to know and he nodded to the

man in the bed, before putting a hand in the small of Jim's back and walking him

from the room.

Jim was walking through the front door of the loft, Simon's hand under his good

arm when he finally snapped out of it. Simon was ready - he'd been half

expecting their home to have this impact on the Sentinel - and he caught Jim as

his knees buckled for a moment.

"Come on Ellison, lets get you upstairs," Simon grunted and Jim nodded, taking a

deep breath and looking around with suddenly clear eyes. The stairs were hard

work, and Simon was secretly relieved that there were no toys or other

embarrassing paraphernalia around to indicate the two men's status. Jim's

bedside table had very little clutter while Blair's was piled with books,

notepads and a few pens. Jim slumped to the mattress with a tired little sound

and Simon loosened his clothes and pulled the shoes off. After a moment he

handed the pillow from Blair's side to Jim and then pulled the comforter over

the sleeping man.

"Damn he's good," Simon mumbled as Jim went straight to sleep, soothed by the

latent scents. Even drugged to the gills and in a hospital bed on the other side

of the city, Sandburg was able to Guide his husband. Simon went back down the

stairs, checked that there was food available for when Jim woke up and that the

phone was turned down. The answering machine was full of messages - probably

from the press among others - and Simon turned it down too. He was on watch for

Jim for the next twenty-four hours - something he'd organized with this

eventuality in mind. Rafe and Brown knew to call if they made any progress and

he would check his phone for messages regularly during the day. There would be a

regular patrol outside the loft during the day and an extra unit tonight so

Simon could get some sleep. He made up Blair's old bed in the spare room and

looked around the small space. Blair was still a strong presence here - the

bookshelves were still crammed with his texts and the desk littered with his

work. Pictures of Jim and the men and women at the PD had been hung on the

walls, and Simon found himself smiling at a shot of his son and the consultant,

standing with their arms around each other. Making a mental note to call the

teen some time tonight, Simon went back out into the other room.

He browsed the bookshelf for something to read and settled down with a volume of

'protector' myths and legends. The book probably belonged to Blair and Simon

leafed through it slowly, becoming immersed in the anthology from all over the

world. As was to be expected, the Sentinel myth was in there and Simon chuckled

at the autograph at the head of that chapter - 'Jim was here' in his detectives

bold hand. This chapter was littered liberally with comments from Jim, all of

them humorous. Blair had refuted one or two of the comments with scrawls of his

own and Simon had to restrain himself from chuckling out loud.

He took a break halfway through the book, making himself a sandwich and stepping

outside for a cigar. There was still no sign of the press - obviously they'd not

got wind of Jim's discharge and were still splitting their attention between the

precinct and the hospital. His phone had no new messages and Simon sighed -

progress was slow on the shooting as the PD aligned itself with one camp or the

other. Throwing away the half smoked cigar - remembering to wrap it in plastic

first so Jim's senses wouldn't be affected - Simon finished cleaning up the

kitchen after his sandwich and went back to his book.

He got to the end of the book after dinner. As Simon read the 'after word' he

realized why reading this book was so familiar. He'd thought at first that the

sense of dj vu came from listening to Sandburg's enthusiastic lectures on the

subjects of tribal protectors. A small part of him had recognized that Sandburg

was quoting this book once or twice as he read it and he'd been pleased to think

he'd be able to quote back at the enthusiastic young man. Sandburg wasn't

quoting something he'd read, however, he was quoting something he'd written - in

the year since the doctorate too. What Simon had been reading was the first

edition of an anthology that Sandburg had collected for his doctorate. Flipping

to the dedication, Simon's heart swelled with pride. If anyone had ever wondered

what Sandburg really thought of the cops he worked with they'd only need to flip

to the front of this book. It was written in black and white for all to see:

For my very own set of tribal protectors - whose courage and dedication goes

above and beyond. You are the heart and soul of our city. And with love for my

Blessed Protector, who never leaves my side.

Simon put the book down carefully and leaned back on the couch to think.

0o0o0o0

Chapter Five - In which we finally see some action.

Four days after the shooting things began to speed up. Rafe managed to track

down a few of Block's acquaintances and piece together what the informant had

been doing over the last three days of his life. He had been blackmailed by

Timothy Bowers into contacting Jim and setting up the meeting. Bowers was one of

the men on the tape. He'd had access to the bullpen and managed to put together

enough bogus information to make the meeting sound urgent for one of Jim's

pending cases.

Armed with that information, Brown started to look into the movements of Bowers

and his partner Andrew Speake at about the time the informant had been killed.

Using a snitch of his own, Brown managed to locate a man who'd bought a rifle

from someone matching Speake's description. A word in Cassie's ear got the gun

tested for ballistics and fingerprints. The new owner agreed to make a notarized

statement in exchange for Brown working on a deal with the prosecutor's office

over the illegal purchase. Brown decided to sit on the charges for the moment -

not wanting to tip their quarry off. The rifle came back positive for Speake's

fingerprints and the test firings matched the evidence from the sniper's attack

on the rooftop.

They now had solid evidence and a clear motive. Making back up copies of

everything and securing those with the copy of the tape that had started the

whole mess, Brown and Rafe presented their findings to Simon, who then took it

straight to the Chief. The Chief was less than happy that Simon was ignoring due

process and sent him on to Internal Affairs. Internal Affairs was unhappy as

well. They didn't want to be reminded that they were supposed to be defending a

gay cop and his lover from their own colleagues. The mini tape recorder that

Simon was carrying in his pocket got a workout as he added the unenthusiastic

response from IA to that of the Chief.

Simon was ordered to butt out and informed that the protection for Sandburg and

Ellison was being withdrawn 'due to lack of further hostilities'. Simon returned

to Major Crimes in a rage and sent Brown and Rafe straight to the hospital to

watch Jim's back while he finished documenting the day's lack of results for

inclusion in Brown's safe. Speake and Bowers were on suspension pending

investigation, but there were plenty of cops who were sympathetic to the pair

and would think nothing of passing on the station gossip, or even slipping in to

do them a favor. Not to mention the idea that they probably had accomplices who

were still in hiding.

Simon locked the evidence away in Taggert's office and went down to the garage

to drive to the hospital. They were going to have to discuss what to do next. The way things were, Jim was going to find working at the PD very difficult -

his lover's predictions about missing backup loomed on the horizon. Deep in

thought, Simon missed the man standing behind his car. The first nightstick

caught his wrist, making him drop the keys he was holding.

Yelling in pain and anger, Simon turned towards his attacker, barely managing to

deflect the second swing of the nightstick onto his shoulder and driving his

fist into the other man's stomach. His attacker's breath came out in a rush, but

before Simon could follow up on is advantage a second man hit him from behind.

Pain exploded through his head and neck and Simon went down, barely feeling the

other blows as they landed. He curled up as best he could and waited for the

blows to stop.

After a while someone found him beside his car and called an ambulance. The

medics were gentle and spoke soothingly, handling the broken wrist and bruised

ribs with respect. The ER was loud and brash, and the doctors spoke in clipped

and hurried tones. Brown appeared for a minute and then Rafe, both looking

disgusted. There was a couple of flashes, but by that time Simon was floating on

the pain killers they'd given him and he didn't care any more. Eventually he was

put into a dim and quiet room and Joel appeared, sitting in the chair beside him

until Simon drifted off to sleep.

By the time Simon woke, the painkillers had worn off and he was in no mood to be

placated. Joel finally caved and got the doctor so Simon could get signed out of

the hospital. Jim came down as the doctor left, muttering dire threats under his

breath and searching in his pocket for a pen to get the paperwork started.

"Simon," Jim sat down in Joel's chair, "We need to talk."

"I was on my way to see you both when this happened, Jim. Give me a couple of

hours to go home and change and check in with the station..."

"That's what I want to talk to you about. I don't think you should go back to

the station," Jim interrupted, "After they'd beat you nearly unconscious last

night they wrote fag on you with a magic marker. Brown and Rafe took some

pictures for evidence. They're pretty upset Simon, we all are. Did you see

anything that would identify them?"

"No," Simon whispered, horrified that his attackers had violated him like that,

"Why the hell did they do that?"

"We've always been pretty close, Simon. They've tarred you with our brush. I'm

sorry, we never wanted any of this to happen," Jim couldn't meet Simon's eyes.

Before the Captain could take a deep breath and get loud - not a smart thing to

do with bruised ribs, really - Joel spoke up from the doorway.

"Pack your bags, Simon. Jim's going on a guilt trip."

The Bomb Squad's Captain's voice was dry and mocking. Jim's head snapped up, his

pale eyes flashing fire.

"This isn't funny, Joel! You think I want my friends beaten up for me? You think

I wanted Blair maimed for life? We're through with the PD - he'll never recover

enough to meet the physical requirements for the field and I can't do this

without him. What are we supposed to do now, Joel? What am I supposed to do? I

can't just switch all this off you know!"

Joel was frowning at Jim in confusion and Simon sighed softly. Now was not the

time for Jim to reveal the Sentinel to his colleagues, though he'd seriously

suggest that to Ellison at a later date. Right now Simon had to control the

damage his shouting detective was doing.

"Jim," his soft voice shocked the detective to silence, "I know you never wanted

this. I know you're through with the PD. I don't want you to switch it all off,

and I'm pretty sure that Blair won't either...as for the rest of it, we'll work

something out. Right now I'm ready to chuck it all in with the PD too. You have

to trust us, you have to trust Sandburg. How is he today?"

"He's been asleep," Jim's lips were trembling, "I haven't spoken to him since he

sent me home. They said he started therapy and he was exhausted."

That was the cause of their problem, then. Jim hadn't had his Guide fix today. He wouldn't disturb his husband's rest just for his own piece of mind, so they'd

just have to suffer until Sandburg woke up. The door opened and a nurse appeared

with the forms for Simon to complete and sign. Joel took them from her,

realizing that Simon's writing hand was out of action for a little while. He

grinned at his friend and sat down to start the whole thing off. Simon grinned

back and avoided Jim's confused gaze. Under normal circumstances there was no

real reason for Joel to have memorized Simon's details.

"Go on back to Sandburg," Simon told his detective, "I'll go home and clean up,

then I'll be right back ok? I'll stay away from the station for now."

Jim nodded and got up. He still looked miserable and Joel watched him leave with

a frown, which he then turned on Simon. The Captain of Major Crimes braced

himself for a question that was sure to be fraught with complications.

"What was that all about?"

0o0o0o0

Sandburg was awake when Simon returned. He was aware and able to master the pain

enough to speak loudly enough to be heard by non-Sentinel's. He was talking

quietly to Jim when Joel and Simon arrived, though he broke off what they were

discussing pretty quickly to ask Simon if he was all right and apologize for

putting him in that situation.

"Unless this is all some evil plot masterminded by you to get my arm broken,

Sandburg, I don't think you should be apologizing," Simon retorted, settling

into the chair that Joel was holding for him. The Bomb Squad Captain fussed for

a moment and then sat down too. Blair acknowledged that this was not an evil

plot of his own device, and Simon grinned at him.

"I was actually on my way to see you both last night. Rafe and Brown are on

their way now - we need to talk. Things are getting uglier by the minute and

we're going to have to do some fancy stepping to come out of this on top," Simon

looked over at Jim, who was clutching Blair's hand and looking miserable. Blair

on the other hand looked to be on a fairly even keel, despite the pain and the

uncertainty of his future. Of the two, it seemed that Jim was the one suffering

the emotional backlash from this nightmare. Blair was the one holding it

together - for now. Simon had no doubt that this would all hit the

anthropologist eventually, and hit him hard. He prayed they'd be strong enough

for Blair then.

Rafe and Brown entered, carrying chairs and asking Simon and Blair how they were

today. Both men were happy to see Sandburg coherent and able to reply to them, a

marked improvement from the passive drugged out stranger they'd last spoken to.

"We've added copies of the photo's from yesterday to the file, sir," Rafe had no

trouble meeting Simon's eyes. His anger at what had been done to his boss and

friend shone in his eyes, "IA is again dragging its feet, though."

"We're in deep trouble, Captain. No one wants to know. The Chief is on the news

denying that there's any trouble at the PD while the Commissioner is up there

saying it's a difficult time for all of us. The Mayor has refused to make any

comment whatsoever," Brown sighed, "We might not get the right result here."

"That's what I wanted to talk to you all about," Simon nodded, "We may have to

change our tactics here."

"Before we talk tactics, Simon," Jim interrupted, sitting up straight, "I have

to tell the guys something."

Simon's eyes widened at that tone, and he glanced at Sandburg nervously. The

Guide was looking back at him with calm equanimity and Simon shivered - they

were united in what Jim was about to do. Even though Jim had said he had

something to tell it was Blair who began.

"I'm finished at the PD. My injuries are such that I'll never be able to meet

the requirements of the PD for the field work," his voice was calm and matter of

fact - accepting even. Jim rubbed his thumb along the back of Blair's knuckles,

his expression resolute and tense. Brown and Rafe stirred in their chairs, but

seemed to sense now was not the time to commiserate.

"With Blair out of the field, so am I," Jim continued, "I wouldn't be happy to

work without him in ordinary situations anyway, but now I need to be top of the

game and I can't do that without his backup."

"Babe, you know we'll back you to the hilt," Brown protested and Jim nodded. His

face conveyed that he never doubted his friends and teammates for a moment.

"Unfortunately, it's not just that I'm worried about," he replied, meeting his

colleagues eyes, "The problem is that Blair does more than act as my cop

partner. He's also my Guide and without him I run the very real risk of getting

myself killed over something stupid like a reflection in a window."

"A guide?" Rafe frowned, looking at Simon, "What..."

"A Guide's duties are many and various," Jim sounded so much like his partner it

was eerie, "He helps train me, and provides a safe environment for me to live

in. He also helps me use my senses to their maximum potential and stops me from

zoning."

"Jim is a Sentinel. All five of his senses are heightened - basically he's a

walking crime lab with organic equipment. I help him focus his abilities in the

field. He uses me as a safety line so he doesn't get hurt. When he gets lost in

one sense it's called a zone - kind of like a blackout. You've seen them happen

in the field. He also gets spikes - where his senses go out of control and

attack him. It's my job to control them for him until he recovers," Blair took

over the tale flawlessly, "Without me backing Jim up the Sentinel has to be

buried, and that would be like killing a part of his soul. We can't do that, so

we're finished at the PD."

"That explains why you always put him on desk duty when Sandburg's hurt," Joel

said into the following silence, "I hate to ask this, but are you two a couple

because of this thing?"

"No," Blair's response was immediate, "We love each other as Jim Ellison and

Blair Sandburg, not as Sentinel and Guide, though that part of our life shares a

very close bond. The problem is that the Sentinel's instincts are very strong in

certain situations. Jim's choice of career has been influenced by his Sentinel's

need to protect. And when the Guide is injured that also pushes a lot of

buttons."

"Yeah, when you're in trouble Ellison's a bear," Rafe agreed, grinning at them,

"And it goes both ways, right?"

"Yeah," Jim smiled a little, "You should see him in mother hen mode - he's ten

times worse than I am."

"Is that possible?" Joel snorted and Simon laughed. Brown looked over at him

with understanding dawning on his face.

"You knew, didn't you?" Brown asked his boss quietly, "You knew about this, so

you kept overlooking the ride along pass."

"They needed help with keeping it quiet - can you imagine the media frenzy if

this came out? And they needed someone who could...substitute for Sandburg in an

emergency. Originally Jim and I thought this would be a temporary thing - he'd

get control and Sandburg would go on his way. But their partnership in the field

was so solid and Jim just kept on learning new things..." Simon shrugged. He

also had come to admire and respect Sandburg's courage and intelligence, but

they'd need to drag that confession out of him.

"So..." Jim shifted nervously, looking for some sign as to how his colleagues

were taking all this. Rafe and Brown looked over at each other for a long moment

and Joel got up to lean over and shake first Blair and then Jim's hand.

"So, instead of planning this like you're coming back, Jim, we need to plan this

to set you guys up for leaving. We'll miss you in the pen, Hairboy. Ellison, not

so much," Brown grinned at his friends and shook hands as well, followed by a

laughing Rafe.

"There's more to it than that," Joel looked over at Simon, "Simon and I are

thinking of quitting too."

"What?"

"Joel, you're kidding!"

"Why on earth..."

"We discussed it on the way back from Simon's place this morning," Joel sighed,

"Neither one of us wants to work in an environment where corruption and

homophobia are more influential than justice. That sounds a bit pompous, I know,

but..."

Sandburg was grinning at Joel, understanding in his eyes. Simon realized that

Blair had figured it all out and looked over at Ellison and his men. They'd been

so accepting of the Sentinel thing, and the gay thing before that.

"Joel and I have been together for a couple of years," Simon said it quietly,

"Neither of us thought that coming out at the station was a viable option. I

guess we were right, huh?"

0o0o0o0

The silence was deafening. Jim's face was surprised - he'd never picked up any

of the scents on his boss and co-worker that would indicate intimacy, and then

realized that they were probably showering separately as they still lived in

separate houses. He lived and showered with his husband, entwining their scents

irrevocably to a Sentinel.

"I see," Rafe took a deep breath, and then ran out of things to say. His partner

stirred and looked over at the two Captains. He'd never suspected it from their

behavior, though he knew they were tight. Somehow, Jim and Blair just seemed to

be a more likely couple - probably because they touched so much in public. The

problem was conveying to his boss that he could care less what the man did in

his own time, and getting his partner to back him up. Brown knew Rafe was not a

homophobe - neither man had been bothered by the Sandburg-Ellison partnership,

so that was not a factor.

"Well, hell," he grinned after a moment, "It must be something in the water."

Rafe snorted and rolled his eyes, elbowing his partner in the ribs and shaking

his head. It was a familiar saying that invited the famous Rafe-Brown comedy

routine.

"Smooth, babe. Real smooth," Rafe teased and Brown growled back, opening his

mouth to retort. Jim interrupted him with a chuckle and a roll of the eyes.

"Are you two ever gonna grow up? I thought Sandburg was the eternal child of

this team."

"Hey!" Blair's protest was soft, "Leave me out of this!"

"Oh no," Joel spoke up, his voice smiling as wide as his face, "You're a part of

this team."

"Yep, you're stuck now, Sandburg," Simon grinned at the pale man, who grinned

back. Jim took his hand tenderly and rubbed the knuckles with his thumb.

"Ok, so we plan like the four of you aren't coming back," Rafe sighed softly.

"Five," Brown spoke up. There was a second silence and then Rafe nodded too. The

corruption at the PD wasn't going to be overcome by one case, and Rafe didn't

have the stomach for concealing his thoughts and opinions from the people who

were supposed to be his friends.

"Six," he declared, "You and Ellison still looking for junior partners, sir? I

can still file and type."

"And me," Brown nodded, "We've been a smooth team for so long we can't just

break it up now. What do you say, Jim? Ready to start your own business?"

"Yeah," Jim nodded and looked at his partner's astonished eyes, "Yeah, we are.

You in Simon? Joel?"

"We're in," Simon reached over and took Joel's hand a little defiantly while the

other man nodded solemnly, "We're in."

0o0o0o0

Chapter Six - The end of an era.

Blair had fallen asleep not long after their tentative declarations. When Simon

had made noises about deferring the discussion for another time, Jim had shaken

his head.

"He'll sleep through any noise we make, Simon," the Sentinel sighed, "The drugs

aren't fully out of his system and he had another therapy session just before

you all arrived. He's too exhausted to stir now."

"If you're sure, babe," Brown frowned, and Simon gave in. He didn't want to put

this off any longer - the whole mess was a nightmare he just wanted to wake up

from.

"Ok," Simon sighed, "We have the evidence on the shooters and on IA as well.

I've also got the Chief on tape washing his hands of the whole mess. Now we need

to decide what to do with it. With Sandburg out of commission permanently we

need to make sure the PD coughs up enough to cover his therapy and the next

couple of years living expenses."

"We also need them to cover you, Simon. What they did to you needs to be

redressed," Jim said firmly, "No one deserves that."

"He's right Simon," Joel nodded, "What if they'd done more damage than that?"

The tight grip of his lover's hand convinced Simon not to argue. They'd admitted

their love for each other after a lifetime of hetro sex. That had made their

relationship difficult, one they had to work hard on. The added frustration of

watching Jim Ellison deny his love for Blair Sandburg had almost been too hard

to bear, but in the end had been kind of enabling. They knew what not to do by

watching Jim do it - not that they'd ever say so to the other man. They wanted

to grow old together after all.

"Ok," he agreed reluctantly, "But we need to make Sandburg the main issue here.

As I see it we've got a couple of options. We can try to sort this out using the

official channels - something that will probably win us some brownie points

along the way, or we can get ourselves a lawyer and go after the PD with swords

drawn."

"The media will probably favor option two," Rafe mused, "They could actually be

of use here - there's been a lot of sympathetic reports out there for Sandburg

and Ellison. I guess you guys make the news so often they like you."

"Yuck," Jim shuddered, "I can do without those kind of friends. No media - ok?"

"Besides," Brown spoke up, "Trying to manipulate the media can backfire,

especially if we go for the lawyer. They could say we were trying to extort

money from them or something. Better to leave the media out of it as much as

possible. If they're chasing us for the story then that's different."

"H is right," Simon nodded, "We're better off not trying to use the media at

all."

There was silence for a moment, as everyone contemplated the options before them

and the best way to achieve their goals. Then Simon spoke again.

"I don't think that following due process is going to get us there," Simon

sighed, "The Chief and the Commissioner are on obviously different pages of the

play book here, and if we go to the Commissioner over the Chief's head we'll

earn ourselves some nasty enemies. The lawyer may be the best way to go."

"Has anyone got a lawyer in mind?" Joel asked, "Any contacts?"

"There's Candy Sloane," Rafe pointed out, "She's a prominent gay activist in

town. She's already called the bullpen a couple of times."

"And she was on the answering machine at home," Jim nodded, "I don't know if I

want to emphasize the gay part of out relationship. They came after us because

they were crooked cops, not because we were gay. Let's not lose sight of the

15th Precinct here. I want a piece of those bastards."

"I'm in line for that," Brown nodded. Rafe put a hand up solemnly too.

"So, who we gonna call?" Joel broke the tension with the familiar movie quote

and Jim groaned in light protest. Blair twitched in the bed, struggling to open

his eyes, mumbling his husband's name in response to the sound.

"I'm sorry, hush love. Shh, Chief, it's ok. No one's in trouble," Jim was on his

feet in an instant, leaning over to caress and soothe and kiss lightly. The

anthropologist settled with a vague sigh and a mumble as the others watched.

They waited for the Sentinel to be sure his Guide was once again asleep.

"I thought he couldn't hear us?" Simon frowned, "Should we adjourn somewhere

else?"

"No, it was the groan. I guess he's keeping a watch on me," Jim's face was

troubled, "It's ok. If we leave now he will wake up."

Rafe decided to change the subject before Ellison really got upset. That would

wake the sleeping man and embarrass the detective.

"You know, my cousin had problems at his workplace last year. His lawyer was

pretty good," he gave his partner the high sign and Brown, bless him, acted

right away.

"The one who got fired because he couldn't come to work?" Brown asked the

leading question, watching Simon and Joel out of the corner of his eye.

"Yeah," Rafe nodded, and looked at his boss, "He broke his leg skiing and

couldn't get into the office because there was no wheelchair access. His bosses

wouldn't let him work from home, and they weren't willing to extend his sick

leave. They said if he didn't come in he'd lose his job, and so he got a lawyer

to help him out. They got a good settlement out of the firm and he got another

job elsewhere with no blot on his record."

"Are these lawyers specialists in that kind of thing? We're not just looking at

discrimination here - there's criminal charges pending as well," Simon

mentioned, "We want action on the whole mess, including the siege at the 15th."

"I'll call him and find out," Rafe promised, and Simon nodded. For now it was

the best they could do.

0o0o0o0

Things moved quickly after that. Despite their lawyer's advice, the men from

Major Crimes got in touch with the Commissioner and handed in their resignations

quietly, though Rafe and Brown held off on doing that in order to be 'in the

loop' at the station for as long as possible. Using the forewarning the

Commissioner attempted to pressure an outcome on the 15th Precinct mess and the

subsequent shooting.

The Chief resisted and the lawyer went ahead and served notice of the upcoming

legal battle. That produced a face-saving attempt from IA to discover who the

shooters were, but as Rafe and Brown had already tried to close that particular

case the courts were not impressed.

Meanwhile, the media was going wild and besieged the PD and the hospital where

Blair and his lover were still sequestered. The headlines screamed about the

sterling records of 'Cop of the Year' and the 'Top Profiler in Washington State'

- a title that made Blair laugh when he read it.

That was the only laugh Blair had for a while. The therapy was painful and

frustrating. Being confined to bed was even worse as he struggled to come to

terms with his injuries and what they would mean to their lives. Jim was trying

to out stubborn him - refusing to admit that Blair would no longer be able to

keep up with him in the field. So far it was working, as Blair tried harder to

overcome the injuries. Jim's arm had long since healed by the time his husband

was out of traction and up on crutches, his right leg encased in a rigid cast.

It hurt Jim to see his lover struggle and grimace as they worked in the Physical

Therapy suites, but it would have hurt more to bury the man.

While this was going on, Simon and Joel were scouting for area's where the

security business - a hybrid between a consulting agency and private

investigators - would flourish. They needed a city where the profession would

have enough potential business and not too much competition - no one wanted to

be stuck on a shoe string operation because there was a glut on the market.

Simon kept Jim's senses in mind as they searched, not wanting to expose Jim to

too much stimuli. He'd been unable to spend any time alone with Blair to discuss

this problem as Jim never left his lovers side.

Since revealing the Sentinel to his colleagues, Jim had stuck close to his

Guide's side. In one way he was relieved to tell the men he respected so much

about his abilities - he was tired of lying and covering them up. At the same

time, Jim was nervous that the old label of 'freak' would be applied to him -

that his friends would treat him differently, even be afraid of him. Blair knew

that they wouldn't - after all, they'd accepted that Jim and Blair were a loving

couple who reveled in each other's presence - but he was unable to persuade his

lover. Time would prove to Jim what Blair's loving words could not.

The lawsuit was proceeding apace. In an almost unprecedented move the

Chrysanthemum's also hired a lawyer and pressed for damages against the 15th

Precinct as well. With the PD under so much pressure, the Mayor decided to jump

in, siding with the Commissioner in his effort to be seen to do the right thing.

Joel and Simon finalized the details of the new company at the same time as the

lawyer finalized the settling of their case. Rafe and Brown resigned on the spot

- setting off another round of media speculation and sensation - and joined

their colleagues at Blair's bedside to hear the final details.

As the main injured party of the settlement, Blair was awarded a massive ten

million-dollar settlement. The PD would also cover his medical bills while he

was in Cascade. Jim was awarded five million and Simon two, in an effort to make

restitution for their own suffering. Rafe and Brown both came in for a tidy sum

as a part of their severance pay, on the understanding that they wouldn't later

sue the PD for damages. Joel was also awarded a fair amount. Blair was

astonished at the amount of money, but Jim was less than impressed.

"As if it can make up for the pain you'll feel the rest of your life," he fumed,

burying his face in Blair's armpit. If Blair made a reply it was too soft for

the others to hear it. The lawyer took that as his cue to leave, shaking hands

and doing the whole lawyer thing on his way out.

"It's the end of an era," Blair sighed, looking at his friends, "With you guys

gone, Major Crimes will be empty."

"Hey!" Simon defended his former unit, "There are some good detectives in

there!"

"Yeah, but if a truly weird case comes along, who gets it?" Blair grinned,

"Ellison and Sandburg. And if we're already involved, who is next in the line?

Brown and Rafe. Between the four of us, we're your best team, Simon. And if

we're out of action you were usually there to push things along with Joel."

"True," Simon grumbled, "But it's not our problem now. We've got things to do -

packing and moving and setting up the new office, among other things."

"Where is the new office?" Blair asked - he'd been too involved with his therapy

to be interested in outside details. Simon gestured to the head buried in the

injured man's armpit.

"Jim can tell you," the tall man stood, "Joel and I have to get going - we're

having Daryl over tonight for the talk..."

"You'll be fine," Blair said immediately, "Daryl's got a level head on him."

"And we're going too," Brown and Rafe got up, "A last night on the town before

packing tomorrow. You and Jim will be the last one's in Cascade."

"Don't forget to turn the lights off on your way out," Rafe joked and Blair

nodded. He watched his friends leave with a smile, trying not to show them how

sad he was that their lives were being changed this way. Once the door closed he

turned his attention to the man burrowing into his armpit.

0o0o0o0

"Hey, babe, you ok?" the loving tones ran through Jim with a shudder, and a hand

came up to caress the back of his head tenderly. Jim reveled in his husbands

scent for a moment longer and then lifted his face out of the warm cavern.

"Sorry," he whispered, "I didn't mean to go all Blessed Protector on you."

"Part of the territory," Blair whispered back, "I'm getting used to it."

"You sassing me, boy?" Jim grinned, and shifted so his arm was across Blair's

chest and his other hand rested on Blair's biceps.

"Yep," Blair grinned back, pleased to have broken the chain of that particular

mood, "So, where are we going when we leave Cascade?"

"Well," Jim grinned, "Simon's found us this old fire station. We can pretty much

buy it outright if we all put in, and it's perfect. We'll leave the vehicle bay

as it is on the first floor, use the offices already there on the second floor

and divide the third and fourth into apartments for us all. I know that stairs

are going to be hard for you right now, but there's actually one of those little

two person lift's installed - probably for cargo and stuff like that, but we

checked it out, it's perfectly safe and we'll keep the maintenance up on it.

I've seen the pictures Simon brought back and it's perfect Chief. Our place is

on the top floor - it's all glass and open space with access to the roof. Simon

and Joel will be next door to us and Rafe and Brown have the third floor flats.

Because the place is designed as a barracks we won't have to worry too much

about redoing the interior. It all needs work, of course, and they're going to

get the office side of things set up first so they can start putting in tender's

for jobs. The idea is to let Simon and Joel run the office and set the field

assignments while Rafe and Brown and you and I do the fieldwork. Simon wants you

to keep up the profiler thing, though - he got the Commissioner to put a word in

for us with the local PD. If you're profiling for them it gives us an in with

the PD, and lets you use your skills."

"Breathe, Jim," Blair laughed, brushing his fingers over Jim's lips and feeling

his heart skip a beat when his lover suckled on the teasing fingers for a

moment. Although the drugs in his system would probably prevent him from getting

a hard on, it didn't prevent him from wanting and desiring his husband.

"Sounds perfect," Blair caught his breath, "Now all you have to tell me is where

we're going."

"Chicago," Jim watched Blair frown a little, "Babe?"

"Let me get this straight," Blair sighed, "We're trading in one cold and wet

city for a cold, wet and windy city? Why did I marry you?"

"Chief..." Jim whispered, his face crumbling in worry, "I didn't..."

"I guess you'll just have to keep me warm with lots of hot sex," Blair

whispered, smiling a little and Jim sagged in relief, realizing he was being

teased. Blair's hand tangled in his shirtfront and tugged him closer, until

their lips were brushing.

"Want to give me a preview?" his husbands whispered and Jim sighed, leaning

forward to take the soft lips, letting his tongue stroke along them and then

inside for a sweet taste that stole his breath. When they came up for air Jim

was breathing hard and his face was flushed.

"Lock the door and get me a towel," Blair let go of Jim's shirt and pushed

gently, rocking the Sentinel away from him. Jim hurried to do as he was told

while Blair moved himself over carefully in the bed, grunting a little in

effort. He watched his husband come back towards him and smiled.

"Take off your shoes," Blair took the offered towel as Jim toed his shoes off

and then gingerly got up onto the bed. Lying on his side with and arm across

Blair's chest and one leg cautiously nudging between the cast and his husbands

thigh, Jim tried to appear comfortable. Blair was not deceived.

"I won't break, sweetheart," he crooned, "Lean on me."

He positioned his husband with demanding little tugs and pulls, positioning

himself so his hand and the towel were trapped between their bodies and his free

hand could cradle Jim's head tenderly. Letting his trapped hand lie quiescent on

the mattress, Blair took Jim's mouth in a tender kiss.

They sighed together and smiled, kissing slow and deep, letting tongues tangle

and stroke while their lips caressed. The intimate taste and scent of Blair,

combined with the heat from the smaller body had Jim's skin tingling and

flushing in arousal. His cock swelled in his need and he pushed his hips down

onto Blair's hand, whimpering a little as he did. Blair's chuckle traveled from

Jim's lips to his cock and the trapped hand nimbly undid the too tight jeans and

eased inside straining briefs to stroke the hot flesh.

Jim broke the kiss with a tiny cry and muffled his face in Blair's neck,

struggling to stay still and not jostle the other man in the bed. Blair's lips

kissed his hair lightly while knowing fingers traveled up and down Jim's

erection, touching him just the way he liked it. The tender caresses brought

tears to Jim's eyes and he made an urgent sound in Blair's neck, pushing down to

get more of the needed contact.

"Lift up baby. I'm gonna make you feel so good..." the promise had Jim lifting

his hips eagerly. Blair pushed the jeans and briefs down carefully before

spreading the folds of the towel to cover his hip and Jim's groin. A light

pressure guided Jim back into place and the Sentinel went eagerly. Blair

wouldn't be able to penetrate his lover like this - reach was a difficulty - but

they'd been apart for so long that it wouldn't take long for his Sentinel to

come. Jim moaned as Blair started to stroke and squeeze again, adopting a tender

rhythm that would ease him to climax.

"That's it, Beloved," Blair whispered hotly, "So beautiful and tender. My sexy

man."

Jim was thrusting now, small movements of the hips accompanied by growls and

purrs as the cat in him came out to play, He could scent Blair's own desire for

him but was unable to marshal the co ordination to find his lover's cock and

stroke it as well. His noises became more urgent as he panted and strained

towards climax, trying to get the maddening fingers to speed up and just take

him.

"Shh, my love. You're so ready for this, aren't you," Blair kissed the nodding

head lightly, "Are you ready? Will you fall for me? Just relax sweetheart and

let it go. Come for me, my beautiful sexy boy."

"Oh, oh!" Jim gasped and kissed the skin his face was buried in as his come

spurted over the massaging hand and the waiting towel. He shuddered and shook,

then collapsed limply, gasping for breath as his body struggled to recover.

"Good boy," Blair's loving voice was the last thing he heard as he headed for

sleep.

End


End file.
